finding one's place in the bigger plan of God - holy family 2018 C

I do not know how the losing and finding of Jesus in the temple came to be included in the joyful mysteries of the rosary.  From experience losing a child in the crowd is one terrible experience and not a joyful one.   One time, in a church where I was assigned, one mother went hysterical after losing her child for only 20 minutes and we could not even begin looking for the child because we have to look after her.  Here, Jesus was lost for three days.  And if for the sake of argument we will say that the finding is the cause of joy, analyze closely the dialogue between the distraught parents, Mary and Joseph and their son, Jesus, “Son, Mary said, why have you done this to us?  Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.”  And Jesus replied,  “Why were you looking for me?  Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” 

See, what I mean?  Now it seems that Mary and Joseph were the ones who were lost and not Jesus.  If I were Jesus and my father was Joseph and this was the way I answered my mother, I would have been caught by the neck and strangled.

But there must be a reason why this family from Nazareth is a holy family.

For several weeks now we have been bombarded by angels appearing, angels talking in dreams, angels in the sky singing, shepherds telling fantastic tales in fields where they lay, and of stars and strange visitors bearing funny gifts.  And rightly we provided a backdrop of songs for these admirable events - fall on your knees, O hear the angels’ voices, O night, divine.

Today however the church reminds us of this incident which happened to this family.  The losing, the searching, the great anxiety, the despair, of steps being traced back, of people being asked, and of following false leads and dead ends. Though not mentioned in the gospel there must have been sleepless nights, regrets, tears, anger, threats, blame and probably some finger pointing.  All of a sudden amidst the sublime stories of Christmas, we have with us now a very human and even a homely story about parental error, panic, anxiety, a rebellious child fighting for independence, finding his way in the world, and in the end a sigh of great relief.  No more angels, no more dreams.  Just plain life.

This is a human family.  And that’s the point of the church - the holy family is a human family. But what makes this human family a holy family is not because it is shielded from mistakes or blunders and conflicts, because it is not, but because of two things.  First, there is a pondering that is happening. Mary pondered these things in her heart.  Pondering means there are things I cannot understand, that I should keep intact my sense of wonder, that I should keep faith that there is indeed the Father’s business and the Father’s plan in our family life.  I have to be discerning.  To sing this beautiful Christmas song what child is this, to just sit there and stare asking, what is my child’s place in God’s plan?

Second there is also a growing up that is happening – Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and favor.  Growing up means I need to adjust, I need to change gear from time to time.  I need to be responsible, aware of consequences, I need to be aware of others and not just myself.  I need to be sympathetic and compassionate.

In the end, careful reading of the gospel, one notices that there is no resolution to the story.  Stephen King would not agree with Luke on this.  No resolution, so what happens now because Jesus is about his Father’s business. The gospel is silent.  They all just went home after that incident.  Many times that also happens.  Our problem solving skills do not always work.  Many times we just have to let things be.  And that is why pondering and growing are important reactions to our relationships.

So is the finding and losing in the temple a joyful mystery for the family in Nazareth?  It can be. Joy after all in not just in the what, but also in the how - how the holy family viewed the events in their lives, big or small; how the holy family accepted things in their lives, good or bad; and to look for their place in the bigger plan of God.