what is marriage - 27th sunday B

Today the Pharisees asked Jesus: "Is it lawful for a husband to divorce his wife?"  

However, for Jesus, things are better understood when we have seen the bigger picture.  And so he changed the question into, what is marriage? Before discussing divorce, before venturing into the question whether a divorce is called for or not, whether it is allowable or not, Jesus pressed before the Pharisees the more important question that must first be answered, what is marriage?  So what is marriage?

First, marriage is a covenant.  It is a relationship based on the love of a man and a woman.  It is based on self-giving love, on one’s capacity to give oneself totally for the other.  Thus, it is a life-long commitment. One cannot learn self-giving love when one gives up every time it hurts.  One cannot learn self-giving love when one opts out at the slightest sign of trouble.  It is a covenant, it is a commitment to love no matter what.  Thus, Pope Benedict called the struggle to stay and grow in love as “a patient project of a lifetime.”  

Second, marriage is sacred.  It is sacred because of its two sacred purposes, namely, companionship in mutual love and the openness to the gift of children.  It is therefore entered into deliberately.  Not lightly, but deliberately, conscious of the grave responsibilities involved not just to the other but to the family, to the children especially.  It is a sacred duty, ordained by God, a sacred vocation.

This is what marriage is.  Built upon the love and commitment of a man and a woman, the crowning glory of which are the children they produced and form, out of this love.  

This is the blessedness of marriage for which every couple must work hard to accomplish.  This is the blessedness of marriage for which every family and every community must support and encourage.  Marriage I believe has produced more martyrs than the faith.  Why? because the self-giving demanded by it involves a lot of dying to self.  It is not an easy task.  It is not easy.  And not all can live up to it.  As in every struggle to become what God wants us to become many of us fall short.  And that is a reality we have to face.  Separation, divorce happen.

In the last part of our gospel today immediately following the lecture on marriage, parents were seen bringing their children to be touched by Jesus. And the disciples again came out and rebuked them.  But Jesus became indignant with his disciples and allowed the children to come to him. This is a curious addition by St. Mark, but the message, though shrewd, is clear.  Though separations and divorce may not be up to what God has intended marriages to be, they have to be looked upon with understanding and compassion, and no one should be barred and excluded from the loving touch and mercy of Jesus.