the fast when presence is withdrawn - 12th wk friday death

On the question of fasting Jesus said, "Can you make the wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them?  But the days will come, and when the bridegroom is taken away from them,then they will fast in those days."

What is fasting?  To fast means to deprive ourselves of food for a day.  For example on Ash Wednesday we are only allowed to eat one full meal that day so that we can experience the difficulty of hunger, so that we can experience the weakening of our bodies because of the lack of food, so that we can still be faithful to our duty even if deprived of necessities.  These are the sacrifices we have to endure and to bear when we deprive ourselves or are deprived of something so basic to our life as food.

However, Jesus said that there is another kind of fasting for his disciples and it is not just food.  It is a fasting brought about when his physical presence will be withdrawn from them.  And thus he will no longer be around to comfort them.  He will no longer be there to assure them; no more human hands that can caress and soothe; no more human voice that can calm and reassure.  There will be no one to run up to in case they have questions, in case they need clarification.  His physical presence can no longer be seen by their eyes and touched by their hands and they will be deprived of something so basic to us humans and that is the security of a physical presence.  That too is fasting said Jesus.

I believe this also resonates in a family like ours today. Today your mother is taken away from you and you will also begin to fast.  There will be no more reassuring physical presence of a mother who cares, of a mother who presides and rules over, of a mother who makes everyone feel assured and secure.  There will be nobody to run up to for strength, for assurance, for clarification. However we assure ourselves that our mother will watch over us in heaven, or pray for our concerns here on earth, the fact remains that there is no substitute for the comfort she can provide, there can be no alternative or stand-in for her touch, her voice, her smile and even her confident and assuring look. There is no substitute for the security one feels when one is in the physical presence of a mother.  Her passing away is a fasting, a fasting that will bring discomfort and difficulty, it is a fasting that will test our resolve as a family, a fasting that will test your faithfulness to her vision and to each other.  It will test, and perhaps even make strong, your dependability and devotion to your family.

And so today as we encounter this reality in our lives, like the disciples let us do the following.

First, enjoy each other’s presence while they are still around. We cannot hold on to each other’s physical presence forever.  A time will come when the bridegroom will be taken away and you will begin to fast. Let it not be a day of so many regrets.

Second, learn to accept this reality of life.  We cannot forever hold on to the people we love and also no matter how hard we try we cannot cling to the persons we love, forever. We learn to let go.  We learn to be responsible for ourselves, we learn to detach.  Fasting will always remain part of our human experience, so let us better learn to embrace it.