living in the presence of mystery: felix's funeral

The thoughts I would like to share with you this afternoon should have been delivered last Sunday, Trinity Sunday. But I have to give way to Fr. Ryan Teves who was after all an avid fan of Felix’s own version of dinuguan which by the way may have caused inadvertently Fr. Ryan’s 3^rdstroke.  Fr. Ryan has to say mass for him because he was the cause why Felix had to tell lies every time he comes to ask for that cholesterol laden, uric acid rich food.  Well, priests who crave once in a while for life’s little joys know Felix.  Even the austere Carmelite nuns of Jaro could not resist and would sometimes send the driver to pick something up in his non-descript eatery.  It is a consolation to be a source of the simple joys of life to other people, that sometimes I feel a bit envious that I am known to other people not because of who I am but because of my brothers. 

Nevertheless at the moment we have to follow the injunction of Jesus that man does not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God, and that is my role today, whether you enjoy it or not.

Last Sunday we celebrated the solemnity of the Holy Trinity.  GK Chesterton, the famous catholic author once said that he became a Christian because of its belief in the Holy Trinity.   Why?  Because “if Christianity was only made up of human beings with a human intellect and a human understanding, then they could not have thought of a concept that is not only difficult but even impossible to grasp or explain: the idea that God exists as one but in three persons.”  Only God could have thought of that, not man.  Only God.  In our catholic faith this is referred to as a mystery.  In fact there are a lot of mysteries in our faith – the mystery of the incarnation, the paschal mystery which we express when the priest in the mass says, the mystery of faith;  there is also the mystery of the Immaculate Conception and Assumption of Mary, and of course, the Mystery of the Holy Trinity.

What is mystery? Sang bata pa kami, (sa mga ka-idad ko da, sang bata pa kita), dumduman pa ninyo ang drama sa radyo mundo mistico, kalibutan sang mga misterio, kalibutan sang mga katingalahan, kalibutan sang mga indi mapatihan, apang nagakabuhi sa panumduman, mundo mistiko. Dumduman pa ninyo ina?  Wala pa tele-novelya sang una.  Nagapamati kami sina sa radio, samtang nagapangurumbot sang habol kay nahadlok kami kay ginpatay na nila ang kinke kag petromax.

 So what is really mystery?  Mystery is something that I can only come to know when God reveals this to me.  It is a hidden secret that is revealed only by God. It is something which my own logic can never make a coherent conclusion of; it is a reality that my own mind cannot invent, nor conceive, nor even imagine; a truth I cannot fully understand. How can three persons be one, how can the different persons be equal?  And yet that is the mystery of the Trinity.  How can the divine become human, how can spirit become flesh?  And yet that is the mystery of the incarnation. How can the passion and death of Jesus become my salvation, how can his dying on a shameful crucifixion become my redemption?  And yet that is the paschal mystery, a reality made possible, for God so loved the world.  And how can so small a human person, how can a nobody, weak and sinful in nature attain so much glory.  And yet that is the mystery of the Immaculate Conception, the mystery of the Assumption of our Blessed Mother, revealing to us the power of God’s unmerited grace.

Mystery is a reality, it is a presence, and it is an intervention, which I may not fully or entirely comprehend, nevertheless something I can fully believe and accept in faith as something revealed and will be fully revealed to us by God.

How can I believe in a loving God, in a God who loves me and cares for me in the midst of so much pain?  How can I believe in a God who suffered for me so that I may not have to suffer eternally and yet at the same length and breathe grapple the meaning of the seemingly useless suffering of the person we love?  

How can I convey to Erla, Gelai and Benedict the assurances of God’s help and protection in the future, when just a week ago we all felt so helpless and abandoned?

My faith tells me, yes I can, and my faith tells me yes I must, because I am in the presence of mystery, we all live and move in the presence of mystery.  

I believe in a God whose presence I cannot exactly pinpoint to you, a presence I cannot exactly show where, but just the same I know God is there, and just the same I know God would never abandon me or leave us alone.  

I believe in a God whose plans and designs for each one of us cannot be immediately and totally grasped, (gone at the age of 54?), but just the same I believe that God has a plan, and a very good plan for each one of us.  

I believe in a God whose ways of loving and caring for each one of us, elude me at times, and many times God does not answer my prayers as I wanted them answered, not meeting my own criteria and expectations of what love and what caring should be, but nevertheless I believe that God loves us and cares for Felix, and does so deeply and even more than we do.

I live in the presence of mystery, and no matter what, I live in the presence of Father, Son and Holy Spirit, one God in three persons, equal in majesty yet united in its diversity.  One day I will be able to see more clearly when all things will be revealed in Jesus.  In the meantime I can only trustfully say, Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.  As it was in the beginning is now and will be for ever, Amen.