if god wills it: felix: 7th week wednesday

(Va pensiero, a chorus from the opera Nabucco, by Verdi, was sung spontaneously by people as his funeral cortege passed by.  This is a song inspired by Psalm 137 [by the rivers of Babylon, we sat and wept...] sung by a people exiled in Babylon longing for their homeland. Verdi composed it at a difficult moment in his life when his wife and small children died.  It's a longing for home....something we can all resonate with in death.)

Today we listened to the readings intended for today.  We focus our attention on our first reading, from the letter of James.  When I visited Felix in the hospital bringing in tow one of the seminarian, Felix was in a jovial and hopeful mood, as was his attitude towards life.  Among other things, we talked about his business and the dreams he had for improving his products especially the packaging that would make his products look better.  After all he said taste alone is not enough, presentation is also important. After we left the hospital, the seminarian asked me, abi ko 4^thstage na sia, daw kaayo pa man to sa iya. Siling ko sa seminarista, sa tuod lang samtang nagahambal si Felix sang iya mga plano nagsulod man ina sa pensar ko. Pero nagalibog ang ulo ko kon ano ang ihambal ko kay indi man ako luyag nga i-interrupt ang iya maayo nga panan-aw sa palaabuton.  I wanted to find the right words nga indi man ako mahimo nga butigon at the same time indi man ako makabig nga killjoy.

And this is what came to mind when I read our first reading today.  This what I wanted to say to Felix but did not say. And so I must say it now, “If the Lord wills it….”

Actually mabati-an ko ini pirme kay lola sang una – kon pagbuot sang Dios.  I believe nga kalabanan sa aton nakaabot pa sang sini nga mga halambalon ukon everyday expression.  Kamusta ka na?  Sa pagbuot sang Dios maayo man a.  If the Lord wills it.  Probably we are in an age nga more and more we have become more confident of what we can do as people with so much skills and talents, a people who knows a lot. Probably we are in an age nga kabudlay na gid man mamalibad nga indi ko na kabalo, indi ko na kasarang.  May collective consciousness kita nga we can, mahimo ina.  This is good yes but only up to a certain extent. Thus St. James reminds us  - Come now, he wrote, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we shall go into such and such a town, spend a year there doing business, and make a profit"– you have no idea what your life will be like tomorrow.  You are a puff of smoke that appears briefly and then disappears.

In the cancer of Felix we experienced helplessness.  We were invited to embrace helplessness.  Ginpatawag niya ako three times sang didto sia sa ICU and he keeps on saying, kasakit, daw mabuang ako sa kasakit.  Ako man ya nagasala ako kay gusto ko nga bulngon ang iya sakit, dulaon ko ang iya sakit.  But I know I could not do that and in that situation there was nothing that I can do, nothing.  The invitation was just simply to embrace helplessness, to acknowledge helplessness.

I believe it is time to recover our everyday expression sang aton mga katigulangan – sa pagbuot sang Dios, if the Lord wills it.