psalm 45 - inner beauty - assumption

I have been reflecting on the responsorial psalms of the mass these past few months now and I would like to continue doing so today on the solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary.  Today we reflect on beauty, specifically on the beautiful bride praised exceedingly by the equally dashing bridegroom in psalm 45. 

I believe I have enough credentials to speak on beauty.  For one I was exposed early in life to the beautiful.  After all my elementary years were spent in Assumption with so many beautiful classmates and schoolmates.  I was also voted last year as outstanding teacher in Philosophy.  I am teaching Aesthetics, the Philosophy of Beauty.  And I would always tell the seminarians that if ever they leave the seminary for good they should show me at least the reason why, so that I could judge whether she is indeed worth leaving behind the priesthood.  After all I am an authority on beauty.

Seriously now.  Since I am surrounded by some old boys, and old girls mostly, who are in various degrees in their struggle to remain beautiful – many can still do so with some degree of efficacy but others are simply a struggle in futility – and since this is so, you would prefer rather that we reflect today on inner beauty.

Psalm 45 speaks of inner beauty and if this psalm is prayed on the feast of the Assumption, it is because our Blessed Mother who personifies what we could become, is the beautiful bride herself.  She is the image of the church, the bride of Christ.  Our Blessed Mother embodies what each of you, what each of us can become because of Jesus.  Mary is beautiful, tota pulchra es Maria.  Not just beautiful outwardly but tota pulchra, totally beautiful.  We can be beautiful like her.

Today psalm 45 reveals where this beauty is coming from, why the bridegroom is so attracted to her, why the king, her Lord, desires her beauty?

Two things, two beauty secrets revealed in Psalm 45.

First, to understand inner beauty let us go via negativa – let us first know what brings about ugliness in our lives.  St. Alphonsus Liguori says that there are three things that make us bitter and ugly as we grow old: attachments, remorse, and uncertainty.  Attachments to things, to reputation, attachment to bygone realities, attachments to what we can do before but now no more, these can make us resentful and unpleasant. 

Remorse too can make us marching through old age bitter, burdened by so many regrets, past mistakes that we cannot forgive ourselves of, anger turned hatred that can get us stuck up, we cannot move on.

Uncertainty too can make us insecure, the lack of confidence on what lies beyond, of what is in store in the future, and so we become doubtful and suspicious, we become less trustful of ourselves and of others.

In contrast Psalm 45 reveals to us the first beauty secret -  "hear, O daughter, and see; turn your ear, forget your people and your father’s house."  It assures the bride in her anxieties and apprehensions:  do not live in the past, do not allow your past to control you, move on, leave behind the things that burden you, plunge yourself instead into the embrace of the king who loves you, who will take care of you, he will take care of you.  Be confident in him, be assured in him, have faith.

When Gemma Larraga a classmate announced to the bishop that I only decided to get ordained as a priest the very year she decided to get married and the bishop perhaps feigning surprise said, "ay talaga, bakit?"  Everybody fell silent, especially the seminarians.  If you know Gemma well enough you would also know how she answered the bishop, and I don't have to repeat that on a pulpit in this holy church.

And then again when we met as a class for the first time after 31 years during Assumption's centennial, I was once again flanked by her and Agnes Hechanova who both pretended to kiss me, while Happy was happily taking our pictures.  These would have been embarrassing years back.  It would have made me blushed. 

But age has a way of making us go beyond the physical.  In the face of life's joys and difficulties, beauty is no longer just skin deep, beauty is no longer external.  Even attraction is no longer merely external.  In the face of life's triumphs and crisis the beautiful are not just mere externals.  The wrinkles in our faces may already disqualify us from pageants, but they are testament of love's many anxieties and worries. The limp in our gait may no longer allow us to catwalk the ramp and be our sexy selves, but they testify to responsibilities that weighed us down, to burdens carried for the sake of the other.  The difficulty in climbing stairs may make stilettos permanently out of date, but this difficulty is testimony to the many obstacles we once faced and mountains we couldn't move but dared to climb.  For many of us beauty is what life has made us into as wives, as mothers, as husbands, as a priest. We were not always successful but we have run the race, we fought to the end, we persisted in our love, and we have somehow managed to survive. 

And so with St. Augustine we affirm our faith saying:  We rely on God's mercy for our past mistakes, on God's love for our present needs, on God's providence for our future.

And so we come to the second beauty tip from Psalm 45:  "The queen stands at your right hand, arrayed in gold. So shall the king desire your beauty; for he is your lord." 

Probably at this age all of us already know, and more importantly, all of us are finally convinced that happiness is a choice and beauty is given.  So please stop whining.  Let us be consoled at least that if we cannot be beautiful physically, we can still be happy despite its lack.  But the point of Psalm 45 in asserting that beauty is given is this:  Jesus the bridegroom is the source of beauty.  It is Jesus who cloths us with gold; it is Jesus who makes something beautiful out of our life; through his grace it is Jesus who turns our ugliness into something beautiful for God; and it is Jesus who is able to see in us the beauty he clothes us with. 

Everything in Mary are gifts from God – her immaculate conception, her motherhood, her being a disciple who followed him all the way to the cross, her assumption into heaven, her queenship – everything that made her tota pulchra.  And if there is one thing that Mary did, it was to allow God to do all these marvelous things in her life.  That was Mary's choice – to allow God. 

Mother Marie Eugenie's young life was far from beautiful.  She had many reasons to wallow in anger and resent her life – her upbringing, her reversal of fortune when his father went bankrupt, the painful separation of the family that followed, and the sudden death of her mother.  But she allowed God to speak to her in this painful situation, and she allowed God to act through her so that in the ugliness of her pain something beautiful can be offered for the church. That was Mother Marie Eugenie's choice - she allowed God. And I believe this is the invitation to all of us.

Assumption Education has imparted on us early on a prayer life, from our morning prayers to the daily visits to the blessed sacrament in the chapel, from masses on important occasions, to confessions, holy communion, confirmation and retreats.  Even the sight of sisters praying before the blessed sacrament are still etched in memory as an ideal to be reached.  Let us recover these times.  cThe call to re-live the times of prayer which Assumption inculcated early in us is to draw ourselves nearer to what St. Augustine calls "O Beauty, ever ancient, ever new," to allow God to transform our daily experiences and situations into something beautiful for God, for our families and for society.

Heavenly Father, help me to know that my beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes,instead, it should be that of my inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. Amen (1 Peter 3:3-4)