so, how are you today?
Good morning. So, how are you today? Kamusta? Actually this question is just a formality needing a positive reply. One does not even need to tell the truth in answering this question because courteous behavior demands that you just say fine or good or at the very least OK lang. So when you are asked the question, don’t talk about your arthritis or whatever disease you have at the moment. That would be considered rude. Convention demands that it be answered in the positive just as you say good morning even if there is nothing really good in it.
Today however, barring convention and just for the purpose of our reflection let us answer this question truthfully. So how are you today? I would like to volunteer my own reply to this question - a question I asked myself thoroughly yesterday. So, how am I?
Frankly, I am not fine. I have lost more than 10 pounds already, and this early (and this is supposedly a five year term), my mother is loudly complaining that I am not being fed well. Obviously the boxes of eggs which Carmel sends us occasionally in the seminary did not help much. Not that I am asking for more, though that would surely help in relieving some of the stress.
So, how am I? Frankly I feel all stressed out already, worrying about this and that, afraid that something bad might happen, anxious about the many things that may not turn out as planned, apprehensive about decisions, frightened about outcomes, concerned about the past. This is how I am today, if you ask me.
How did I come to this state? How did I lose 10 pounds with absolutely no extra effort on my part when Fr. Marvin and Fr. Bong with the best effort could hardly lose one? Why am I so stressed out when others could take things lightly? Why am I tortured in my worries when others can be happy and secure?
Last night I prayed to St. Therese and this is what she taught me - two things:
First, “how happy I am to see myself imperfect.” Do you get that - do you get what she just said? How happy I am to see myself imperfect. It’s like saying I am happy because I am imperfect. I am happy because I am an imperfect rector, an imperfect priest, a priest who makes mistakes. I am happy because I am living in an imperfect community. I am contented with the imperfections around me - imperfect projects, imperfect singing by the choir, imperfect declensions by my students, imperfect food from the kitchen; assisted by imperfect priests and imperfect teachers, in forming imperfect kids; having to deal with an imperfect bishop, with his imperfect priests in an imperfect diocese. How can I be happy with this lot? How can anyone be happy with this lot?
But come to think of it this is precisely the source of so many unhappiness and stress in our lives - when we are not comfortable with our personal imperfections, when we are disgusted with the imperfections around us. Acceptance and understanding - these are the keys to happiness and contentment. There is happiness when you can finally accept that you can only do as much. There is real happiness in finally accepting to oneself that I cannot do everything, that I am not the messiah, I am not God, that I cannot be in control of everything and that I can only do what I can because I am only an imperfect creature who rely on the mercy of God.
I hesitantly went to Boracay three weeks ago to attend a seminar on liturgy and Fr. Anscar Chupongco reminded us of the prayer of Pope John XXIII who said, “Lord this is you church. Take care of it. Now I will sleep.” Right there and then I made it also my own prayer, “Lord this is your seminary. Take care of it. Now I want to enjoy Boracay. Amen.”
Second, “let us go forward, our eyes upon heaven, the only one goal of our labors.” Heaven is the goal. How many times have we forgotten this? Heaven is the goal. Look what happens when reputation for example becomes the goal - we pretend, we lie, we become affected even by some minor mistake. Look what happens when riches, ambition or power is the goal - we corrupt, we connive, we cheat, and we suffer today because of our need for it. Look what happens when our only good is in this world, in this life - we cannot understand sickness, we question God saying I have been good to you, why aren’t you good to me; we avoid old age as if we can avoid it, and we are so afraid of dying and death, we are without hope. The priesthood is not the goal. It is just my way to the goal. Riches and health are not the goal. These are just helps to make us reach our goal. A position of power is not the goal. If you seek it, you seek it in order to reach your one and only goal.
There are too many unhappiness and fears, too many insecurities and anxieties because heaven is not the goal.
And besides many frustrations too happen when heaven is not the goal. Nothing can be perfected in this world. We can only do as much. We work for equality as much as we can, we work for justice as strong and persistent as we can become, we love as much as we could, but true equality, true justice and loving as we should can only come to its perfection in the goal and not in this world. Only in heaven. So never lose sight of the goal. All our efforts are geared towards it.
Today however, barring convention and just for the purpose of our reflection let us answer this question truthfully. So how are you today? I would like to volunteer my own reply to this question - a question I asked myself thoroughly yesterday. So, how am I?
Frankly, I am not fine. I have lost more than 10 pounds already, and this early (and this is supposedly a five year term), my mother is loudly complaining that I am not being fed well. Obviously the boxes of eggs which Carmel sends us occasionally in the seminary did not help much. Not that I am asking for more, though that would surely help in relieving some of the stress.
So, how am I? Frankly I feel all stressed out already, worrying about this and that, afraid that something bad might happen, anxious about the many things that may not turn out as planned, apprehensive about decisions, frightened about outcomes, concerned about the past. This is how I am today, if you ask me.
How did I come to this state? How did I lose 10 pounds with absolutely no extra effort on my part when Fr. Marvin and Fr. Bong with the best effort could hardly lose one? Why am I so stressed out when others could take things lightly? Why am I tortured in my worries when others can be happy and secure?
Last night I prayed to St. Therese and this is what she taught me - two things:
First, “how happy I am to see myself imperfect.” Do you get that - do you get what she just said? How happy I am to see myself imperfect. It’s like saying I am happy because I am imperfect. I am happy because I am an imperfect rector, an imperfect priest, a priest who makes mistakes. I am happy because I am living in an imperfect community. I am contented with the imperfections around me - imperfect projects, imperfect singing by the choir, imperfect declensions by my students, imperfect food from the kitchen; assisted by imperfect priests and imperfect teachers, in forming imperfect kids; having to deal with an imperfect bishop, with his imperfect priests in an imperfect diocese. How can I be happy with this lot? How can anyone be happy with this lot?
But come to think of it this is precisely the source of so many unhappiness and stress in our lives - when we are not comfortable with our personal imperfections, when we are disgusted with the imperfections around us. Acceptance and understanding - these are the keys to happiness and contentment. There is happiness when you can finally accept that you can only do as much. There is real happiness in finally accepting to oneself that I cannot do everything, that I am not the messiah, I am not God, that I cannot be in control of everything and that I can only do what I can because I am only an imperfect creature who rely on the mercy of God.
I hesitantly went to Boracay three weeks ago to attend a seminar on liturgy and Fr. Anscar Chupongco reminded us of the prayer of Pope John XXIII who said, “Lord this is you church. Take care of it. Now I will sleep.” Right there and then I made it also my own prayer, “Lord this is your seminary. Take care of it. Now I want to enjoy Boracay. Amen.”
Second, “let us go forward, our eyes upon heaven, the only one goal of our labors.” Heaven is the goal. How many times have we forgotten this? Heaven is the goal. Look what happens when reputation for example becomes the goal - we pretend, we lie, we become affected even by some minor mistake. Look what happens when riches, ambition or power is the goal - we corrupt, we connive, we cheat, and we suffer today because of our need for it. Look what happens when our only good is in this world, in this life - we cannot understand sickness, we question God saying I have been good to you, why aren’t you good to me; we avoid old age as if we can avoid it, and we are so afraid of dying and death, we are without hope. The priesthood is not the goal. It is just my way to the goal. Riches and health are not the goal. These are just helps to make us reach our goal. A position of power is not the goal. If you seek it, you seek it in order to reach your one and only goal.
There are too many unhappiness and fears, too many insecurities and anxieties because heaven is not the goal.
And besides many frustrations too happen when heaven is not the goal. Nothing can be perfected in this world. We can only do as much. We work for equality as much as we can, we work for justice as strong and persistent as we can become, we love as much as we could, but true equality, true justice and loving as we should can only come to its perfection in the goal and not in this world. Only in heaven. So never lose sight of the goal. All our efforts are geared towards it.
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