becoming perfect

What does it mean when we say that he or she is perfect. What comes to mind when we say somebody is perfect? In our reflection today let us first examine what we mean and therefore what we expect, when somebody is or is expected to be perfect. I believe some of us here are teachers. So when we say “John, you have a perfect score,” we mean that John never committed a single mistake in his test paper. No mistakes – therefore perfect. Some of us here will be hired by people for a certain job and so when they say “you are perfect for the job,” what they really mean is you are truly fit for the job to be done. She is fit – therefore she is perfect. Some of us here have boyfriends or girlfriends or some of us here idealize somebody and we call them the perfect boyfriend, the perfect girl, the perfect mother, the perfect priest.

Therefore when we say perfect we mean he or she is excellent, he or she could not be matched by any other. She or he is excellent and one of a kind therefore he or she is perfect. When a priest gets mad at you during one of his homilies and say sin-o diri sa inyo ang perfecto haw kari diri kay ibutang ta ikaw sa altar kag insenohan.” That priest is referring to somebody who is immaculate, perfect without stain of sin. He or she is sinless therefore he is perfect.
Now we have finished examining what perfection is according to our own criteria and understanding. Enough of that! We will now try to examine what Jesus meant when he says “be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect.” What do we mean when the church refers to Mary as a perfect woman, a perfect creature of God? What do we mean when we call Philip and James a perfect example of what God expects of an apostle? What is perfection in the criteria of God?
Once upon a time there was a circle that was missing a piece of itself. A large triangular wedge had been cut out of it, napingas, so much so that it was no longer a perfect circle (perfect according to our own understanding of what perfect is - –aay pingas). The circle wanted to be whole with nothing missing on it, so it went around looking for its missing piece. But because it was incomplete and therefore could roll only very slowly, it had time to admire the flowers along the way. It chatted with the worms. It enjoyed the sunshine. It found lots of different pieces, but none of them seem to fit. So it left them all by the side of the road and kept on searching.
Then one day the circle found a piece that fit perfectly. It was so happy. Now it could be whole, with nothing missing. It incorporated the missing piece into itself and began to roll. Now that it was a perfect circle however, it could roll so fast, too fast that it could no longer notice the flowers along the way or talk to the worms. Then one day the now perfect circle realized how different the world seemed when it rolled so quickly, and so it stopped, left its found piece by the side of the road and rolled away slowly once more, thankful for the wedge that has made it less than perfect.
This story and reflection is the fruit of my seeming isolation this day and these thoughts made me change gospel for the day. I think the church is understanding enough to accommodate my personal preference and mood today. After all I take care of the liturgy in this part of the world and I am entitled to some exemptions as a reward.
This day as I examined my life, the main preoccupation was my imperfections. The past imperfections just came in droves and I just could not stop thinking about them. Like you I wanted to be perfect in everything I do. I wanted to do everything right, give the right answers, produce the right results. I wanted to be whole and entire without any missing piece. I wanted to be sinless, the model, the fittest, and the perfect priest of the Archdiocese. But that was not the way God wanted me to end my 37th year on earth. He showed me the things I am not so happy about with myself.
And this is precisely why the story came to me again as a kind of consolation, a consolation which corrects the way I understand perfection. The story hit me again telling me that finally I can be perfect without getting into the frustrating feeling after trying to do your best and become that best that you can possibly become and still end up as a failure, a sinner and a mistake-maker.
Though it may be strange to say but it seems that we are more whole and perfect when a piece or pieces of us are missing. Mas perfect kita kon may pingas kita. The man who has everything is in some way a poor man. He will never know what it feels like to yearn, to hope, to desire the good and to dream for something better. The man who has everything will never know the experience of having someone who loves him despite his frailties and give him something he has always wanted to have and never had.
To be whole and perfect does not mean perfection understood as without stain, rather to be whole is to come to terms with my limitations – to accept myself as I really am, to let go of my unrealistic dreams and expectations and not feel a failure every time I fail to reach these dreams.
To be perfect means to go through the tragedy, the difficulties, the sorrows, the challenges, the weaknesses and the failures of the year and survive it all. To be whole means to experience what Mary has to undergo, to experience the worst and coming out of it intact and ever stronger. To be whole means to know that despite the missing pieces in me, somebody still loves me, cares for me and sees tremendous good in me. To be whole means experiencing the love and affirmation which the sinners in the gospel stories experienced in the person of Jesus. To be whole means to be loved and to really love despite of and in spite of.
This I believe is the challenge of any Christian, a priest or otherwise. The challenge that we may become perfect as our Father is perfect. Perfection in the bible means to be merciful like God. God is perfect because he is merciful, for he sends rain to the just and to the unjust. And for us, to be perfect like God is to be merciful to ourselves, to learn to love ourselves despite our limitations and guilt. To be perfect like God is to be merciful to others, to be all-embracing, kindhearted and loving to all. To be perfect like God is to be limitless in kindness.
And so who is perfect? For God it’s not the sinless, it’s not those who committed no mistakes, it is not they who committed no wrong. Rather it is they who are merciful. Look at Philip and James. Philip was corrected in the gospel because he asked the wrong question. James was another fellow who got so discouraged with his work, he called it quits until he saw our Lady of Pillar who encouraged him to continue his evangelization work in Spain, an evangelization which bore fruit in our country, for Spain brought Christianity to the Philippines. Mary is perfect not primarily because she is immaculate but because she accepted unselfishly the difficulty of having to undergo the trials of her life bravely, she trusted even when she could no longer understand, she concerned herself with the impending embarrassment of the newly wedded couple in Cana, she stood there bravely beneath the cross, and she prayed with the disciples in a closed room conscious of the difficulty everybody has to undergo with the death of Jesus. Be perfect – be like James and Philip and Mary because in all things they are like the Father – merciful and limitlessly kind, to themselves and to others.
PS. I was apprehended 6 years ago for Jay walking. I told the policeman that RA 1656 (it’s not the real number, but policemen cannot tell) on the privileges of a disabled person which entitles me not to use the overpass. He made me pass, and I thought all the while that arthritis is that bad.
Think about your missing pieces. They can come in handy once in a while.