raymond and sheena - wedding

Fr. Andy:  Ako si Fr. Andy ang maestro kag prefect ni Raymond.

PolPol:  Ako si Paul Patrick ang classmate ni Raymond.

Fr. Andy:  Let us start by saying that our gospel today that narrates the event in Cana is not just about a mother and a son attending a wedding, it is not just about a mother and a son saving the day for the new couple who ran out of wine on their wedding day.  More than that it is also about a male and a female confronting a problem and how the differences in their sexes as male and female led to solutions that averted a social disaster.  It is about Mary the woman and Jesus the man and how the differences in their sexes complimented each other in providing a solution to an impending problem.

PolPol:  People today would have us believe that there is no difference between man and woman.  Obviously there are.  I have yet to attend a wedding ceremony where the bride wears pants like the groom.  And I have not yet attended nor do I plan to attend in the future a wedding where the groom wears a gown like the bride.  Though I must admit that one of our groom’s man today floated the idea that he would wear the doble cara, half man half woman to save on wedding cost. 

Fr. Andy:  But we have to admit there is an obvious difference between man and woman.  And these differences are not limited only to what is immediately obvious.  Beneath the gown and beneath the pants there are other differences, and still beneath that skin is a whole world of difference.

PolPol:  Pope Francis said that the removal of differences between male and female would create problems rather than provide solutions – yes there is equality between men and women but to downplay the differences will only lead to problems.. Our sexual differences are there for a reason and we would only lose as human beings if we make them compete , if we fight it out with the purpose of subordinating one over the other. 

Fr. Andy:  Our sexual differences mean that man and woman need each other, they complement, they complete each other.  In fact in our first reading today God’s image is made complete as male and female, not just male, not just female but male and female.  Let us look at the gospel, let us look at Mary as woman and Jesus as a man.  If you notice it is the woman Mary who first took note that the wine ran out. Mind you it was not the disciples who were probably busy drinking.  It was not Jesus even.  It was Mary who took notice.  This is the sensitivity of woman.  She is more perceptive, more acutely aware of her surroundings.  She responds more readily to needs, alarms, dangers, and threats.  But how did Jesus respond, “Woman, how does this concern of yours involve me?  My hour has not yet come.”  This is the male Jesus – men may be less perceptive, men may be less sensitive but by taking things one at a time, by taking things in an orderly fashion, solutions can be provided. 

PolPol:  Sometimes we call women daw sala-sala and yet it is this same capacity of taking so many things and implications all at once that saves the child from falling down the cradle.  It is a virtue women are particularly strong. 

Fr. Andy:  Sometimes we call the men balik-awot, and yet this is the same capacity to take things one at a time that problems are responded to.  It is a virtue men are particularly strong.  Male and female, they need each other.  They have to complement and therefore complete each other.  Tsismis – let the grilling begin.

PolPol:  Sheena kag Raymoond nadumduman nyo nga sang nagligad lang nga adlaw inakigan kamo ni Fr. Andy kay wala pa kamo gani nakapersonal pagpakigkita sa iya, ang inyo iya wedding organizer amo ang naghagi transact sa iya.  Tapos when you realized this, you formally went to him.  Sheena you told Fr. Andy ano abi kay si Raymond dali na lang ang kasal wala pa niya ginpatigayon ang kadamo nga mga buluhaton – you were overwhelmed by the so many concerns you still need to do.  This is typical of women and Raymond needs that.  Your sensitivity would make him aware of the so many things that need to be done.   - And yet sang gintulod mo na si Raymond to do something, one at a time ginhatagan man iya solusyon, halin sa pagdala niya sa imo sa kay Fr. Andy kag formally nga gin-introduce, asta nga nakalab-ot kamo karon sa sini nga adlaw.  Now that is the male attitude.  To complement each other you need to talk, you need to listen to one another.  That way you complete each other.

Fr. Andy:  In the wedding at Cana, when Mary the woman came to Jesus she merely presented to her the situation of need of the couple – they have no more wine.  Without arguing, without even hinting on a probable response, she just simply and gradually faded to the background. She turned to the waiter and told him, “do whatever he tells you.”  Mary the woman acknowledged that Jesus is the giver, she respected him, Mary acknowledged that Jesus can do something about the situation, not just because he was Jesus, but also because he was the man, he is the man. 

Now this is something important.  In the relationship between man and woman if this is ignored, if man is not acknowledged, respected and appreciated as man, the giver … the feeling of insecurity can set in, mistrust can ensue.  Mary was a woman of stature, a strong woman and yet she treated Jesus the way he should be treated, she treated him as a man.

PolPol:  Sheena, sang gin-insistir mo gid nga ma-upod si Raymond sa Smallville with your friends, he felt so out of place.  Didto lang sia sa kilid samtang kamo iya nagakinadlaw.  You did not even mind him in his corner, wala mo man sia gina-involve – kon i-involve mo sia out of place man sia kay imo man to ya friends.  Sa kaakig niya sa imo nga ginbutang nimo sia sa sadto nga situwasyon, nag-walk-out sia – literally nag-walk sia halin sa Smallville pakadto sa Quezon St. – lakat lang sia nga basa sang ulan.  Tapos nalabayan nyo sia sa taxi nga naga duroy lakat – nga daw isa ka eksena sa Korean tele-novela, kulang lang background music. 

Fr. Andy:  Jesus would reciprocate much, much later when dying on the cross he left her to the care of John – Woman behold your son, Son behold your mother.  Jesus understood Mary’s feelings as woman – that she cannot be left alone, that somebody has to take care of her.  The male Jesus understood her needs, he understood her cares, he understood her priorities. Jesus treated her as woman in the same way that years before Mary treated him as man.

PolPol:  Nagdecide si Sheena nga maglakat sa Dubai kay gin-away mo.  You quarrelled because you are working on your male way of doing things – kon may problema solusyunan.  But women are not like that.  The process is more important than solutions.  Relationship is more important than answers.  Tapos lakat sia sa Dubai binayaan ka diri.  Tapos sang naglakat na si Sheena, ginling-ling ka ni Cano isa ka aga, hibi-hibi ka man kuno nga nagapungko sa sala.  Then you decided to go with her bisan wala pa papeles.  That decision to be with her was a touching gesture, a woman approach – it was not a solution as you are prone to think, but it was the most caring thing to do.  Raymond, mark well that simple gestures of caring are important in your relationship with a woman.  Kon magsunggod ang babayi she is not finding solutions as men would always think.  She is asking what women want – to be cared for by their men.

Fr. Andy:  Relationship grows when we respect and value our differences. 

Yet we know that these are human attempts to glue the relationship  – the need to respect each other, the need to dialogue and talk things over, the need to cooperate, the need to listen, the need to know each other better.  Yet all these attempts to make things right in the relationship cannot be had when this is not sustained by God’s grace.  We need to bring our situation of need to the Lord, we need to fill up our jars, even if it is only with water.  His love will turn it to wine, to the sweetest most perfect wine.

PolPol:  Sa tuodtuod lang ini nga marriage aksidente kag illegal – aksidente kag illegal nga natabo sang seminarista pa si Raymond.  Bawal ang cellphone sa seminaryo pero nagdala sia sang cellphone– si Fr. Andy ang amon prefect kag wala sia madakpan.  May isa ka seminarista nga naka-friend kay Sheena.  Tungod kay maayo to sia nga seminarista, wala sia cellphone kay bawal gani ang cellphone.  So naghulam sia kay Raymond kay may importante sia nga ihambal kay Sheena nga iya friend.  Siempre na-record ang number sa cellphone sang binalik na sang yadto nga semianrista kay Raymond ang iya illegal nga cellphone.  Kag sa malip-ot nga istorya sila na nga duha ang nagtextsanay. 

Kon kaisa dira sa aton mga kakulangan naga-ilig ang grasya.  Pakita lang ini nga indi gid man lang sa aton kaayo kag kaalam nga ang mga matahum nga hitabo sa aton kabuhi nagakahuman.  Katulad abi sang inyo pag-asawahay karon.  Importante nga ang Dios yara sa inyo relasyon kay sia ang magahimo sang aton tubig nga pinakamatam-is nga bino.