why do we have to lose?: 25th sunday B 2012 II

Today we read the very middle of Mark’s Gospel.  This passage is located at the very center of the gospel.  It is at the center because it separates the first part from the second part of Mark’s Gospel.  And more importantly it provides the transition from the first part to the second part.

The first part is about the ministry of Jesus, the ministry of liberating men and women from the bondages of oppression - freeing them from diseases and sicknesses that enslave the body; freeing them from the evil spirits that take hold and control the soul; liberating them from ignorance that stifles the spirit and the mind.  These, Jesus did as he went all over Galilee healing the sick, casting out devils and demons and teaching the people the truth about God.

Then on reaching Caesarea, he turns towards his disciples and asked, Now what do people say about me?  After all the things that I did who am I to the people?  And who am I to you?  And Peter stood up and answered - you are the messiah. 

Very good answer, superb, you just hit it bull’s-eye.  But what is a messiah?  And Jesus begun explaining to them what a messiah is, that as a messiah he is going to be handed over to people who will persecute him, he will suffer in their hands and eventually he will die.  Now that is one definition of a Messiah Peter and the other disciples could not accept.  This would begin the second part of Mark’s gospel, the slow march towards Jerusalem the place of his suffering and death and the struggle among his disciples to accept that a messiah, the Son of God, has to suffer and die.

It is difficult to understand.  Even now it is difficult for us to understand this, and even more, it is difficult to accept.

God is always healing, not suffering; God is always life, not death, God is always triumph, not defeat, God is always health not sickness; God is always happiness, not sadness; God is always winning, not losing;  God is always solution, not problem; God is always in the blessed, not in the sinner; God is always wealth, not poverty; God is always joy, not pain.  Then why am I in pain?  Then why did he have to die?  Then why do I have to lose?

We are no different from Peter and the other disciples.  No different.

Amador came to me 4 days ago urged by Fr. Dennis to ask me directly his question instead of asking it to him in a hush tone.  So he gathered enough courage to ask me, “Father, what sports are you going to play this intramurals?”  Although he was not laughing I can see that he was more than smiling when he asked that question.  So I asked, are you seriously asking me that question?  He said yes.  Then why are you laughing.  And he turned his back and walked away laughing.

No I could no longer play football or basketball.  I tried tennis the other year but now even that has become too painful.  Yes many times I can get mad because there are things I wanted to do but cannot do.  And this is not just sports.

Part of the wisdom of growing up (and growing old for that matter) is to learn to embrace the possibility that we can gain more from our defeats; that in reality we have learned more from our mistakes; that wholeness can be had in our acceptance of our imperfections; that physical weakness and disability had in many ways strengthened our spirit; that losing is actually gaining; that in our brokenness we have come to meet Jesus who saves us, who redeems us; that Jesus is messiah not because he healed the sick but because he accepted and embraced his sufferings and pains for our sake.

Today we start the week where we are going to fight in order to win, the week when we compete so that we cannot be defeated.  We set our sights on the trophy that will be the mark of our triumph for all to see.  We resolve to become champions. 

Then, not only does it rain hard and even flood.  What we hear from the gospel dampens further everything else.  It says lose.  It says whoever loses, gains.  It invites us to lose and extols those who lose.

May the Lord open our eyes to his presence and most especially to his grace not just in the triumphs of our lives but even more to see grace and providence in our defeats.