conversion - to reappraise everything in the light of Christ

Today we celebrate the feast of the Conversion of St. Paul? What did the conversion of Paul consist of? What is conversion?
In the different letters that he wrote, St. Paul narrated more than once his conversion from being a persecutor of the church to one of its greatest Apostle. To know what conversion is, to know what the conversion of St. Paul consist of I would like to use his description of this event in his life in his letter to the Philippians. In that letter he described his conversion with the word reappraisal. He said, “those things which I consider gain I now reappraised as loss in the light of Jesus Christ.” I now reappraised . . . in the light of Jesus Christ.


Reappraisal means taking a second look, a reassessment, to examine once more perhaps from another angle, or perhaps from another perspective. In asking for a reappraisal we often say, look again, think again. A young seminarian at the age of fourteen one day came to me so madly in attracted to a girl. I used the word attracted because I think he was too young to even think of the word love. And besides at this age I would expect them to be changing girls as if they are changing their shirts. After awhile however, perhaps as a result of being busted outright, the girl of his dreams was reappraised, this time in the light of that rejection. And lo and behold the attractive girl suddenly had yucky pimples, hairs in the wrong places, and an attitude problem. She was not after all attractive and his feelings towards her simply subsided and even extinguished as if Peco made another undeclared power outage. Reappraising something or someone can affect everything in a matter of seconds including feelings, proof that most often the head can rule over the heart.
Going back to the conversion of St. Paul we see the same effect however in a positive light. He said that his Road to Damascus experience was a reappraisal of everything that he held dear, a rethinking of everything that he valued in life this time in the light and in the person of Jesus Christ. This is the conversion of Paul a reappraisal of all things in his life this time in the person of Jesus.
Sometimes we think of conversion as something that is called for only for people whom we consider sinners. We think that conversion is only for drug addicts, womanizers, prostitutes, sex addicts, criminals and killers, thieves and kidnappers or even for smokers and shopaholics like some of you here who frequent SM and the malls - a 90 degree turn from sinner to saint, from nominal catholic to practicing catholics. Thus most often we think of conversion as a onetime turnaround that happens to the lives of sinners in some exceptional situations. Probably yes. But Paul’s conversion was different. He was already a faithful believer in God, a good Jew, a practicing Jew, a man of God, trained in the bible, schooled in the best religious school of his time and exceptionally devout. The conversion of Paul was a reappraisal of everything, a rethinking, a second look to what he hold dear and value in his life this time in the light of the person of Jesus. In this light even a good catholic, a practicing catholic, a daily mass goer, a bible reading catholic, a catholic educated catholic, a religious catholic, a nun and a priest are called to a constant conversion. They, we are, called to continually reappraise what we hold dear, what we value in the light of the person of Christ. We are continually called to appraise our outlook, our stand, our feelings, our attitude in the light of the person of Jesus Christ.
My arthritis is killing me. I could be angry, I could be sad, I could be unhappy all day and I could even make it as an excuse for the things I don’t want to face today. But I have to reappraise my feelings, I have to reappraise even my anger and unhappiness over this suffering, I may even have to reappraise my outlook and attitude towards inconvenience and pain - in the light of the person of Jesus who also suffered.
The call to conversion, the call for a reappraisal can be a daily occurrence and a natural reflex of a christian. I may have to reappraise my business decisions, or the contract I am about to make or even a lucrative deal about to be. I may have to reappraise a relationship, a quarrel, a long drawn hatred that has chained me for so long. I may have to reappraise the way I treat a partner, or my attitude towards a sick member in the family, or my feelings and thoughts towards a life event or situation - to reappraise things in the light of the person of Christ.
In our first reading today Ananias said to Paul after he touched his eyes blinded by that dazzling light on the road to Damscus. Ananias said: Brother Saul receive your sight again. The God of our fathers has chosen you to know his will, to see the Just One and to hear the voice of his mouth. There are 5 movements in this conversion of Paul - first his eyes were blinded, second his eyes were opened anew so as to make him see things from a different perspective, third he was asked to know the will of God, fourth he was asked to see the just one, to look at God and lastly he was asked to hear his voice. Open your eyes and seek to know God’s will for you, look to God, look to Jesus and learn to look at things and events from God’s perspective - learn from God, learn from Jesus, then hear his voice, obey his voice.
To be converted means to reappraise everything in the light of the person of Jesus.

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