the god who gave his name - 3rd sunday lent C 2019

Even when I was still in the seminary I was already struggling to understand who God is.  I am not referring to our children’s catechesis which says: Pila ang Dios -  isa.  Pila ang persona sang Dios - tatlo.  Sin-o sila - Amay, Anak kag Espiritu Santo.  Instead I was asking, who is this God that I am praying to, who is this God who created me, who cared for me, and who saved me? 

Moses in our first reading asked God, who are you, if they ask what is your name what will I tell them?

In our gospel Jesus was told about Galileans who were cruelly massacred by Pilate.  Was it because of their sins that God allowed them to die?  Is this who God is?

When Moses asked for God’s name, God gave him the name.  It was not always like this.  If you remember when Jacob wrestled with God he also asked for God’s name, but God would not give his name.  What’s with the name?  In the bible when one gives her name to the other, she is opening herself to enter into a relationship, and entering into a relationship, one is making oneself vulnerable.  Malipay ka matuod, super lipay, but you can get hurt, maakig ka man at times, maselos ka, you will begin longing for the person you love nga daw may uwang sa imo tagipusuon. Tapos kon nakapoy ka na masiling ka, mayo pa nga nagla-on ako.  Worst, ang iban masiling, nabusted ka, pari ka na lang.

And this is the risk when God gave the name.  Now they can call God and God has to respond.  God will be affected by their actions, God will be moved, God will be hurt, and jealous, and angry, and sad, and God will long for his people.  God said to Moses “I have witnessed the affliction of my people in Egyptand have heard their cry of complaint against their slave drivers, so I know well what they are suffering.  By giving the name God took the risk of becoming vulnerable for our sake.

So who is God?  This is God.

When people asked Jesus about the Galileans massacred by Pilate, Jesus answered them with a parable, the parable of the gardener.

Kaagi man kamo siguro gardening.  Ako gardener ako.  One time may mga CWL nga nagtener sa seminario.  Samtang nagagardening ako, ginsitsitan ako sang isa kag ginsingganan, “to bitbita gani akon bag.”  Binitbit ko man.  Sa kakibot niya, sang gab-i, ang hardinero nga ginpabitbit niya bag amo man ang nagmisa sa ila.  

Anyway when you are a gardener in earnest you will know that you are not in control of so many things – the weather, the sun, the wind, and even the way the plants react to your care, and because of this you can only do so much.  Kon nabudlayan yadtong amon bisita makahangop kon ngaa ang rector sang seminaryo itsura niya daw hardinero, ano pa gid ayhan kon ang Dios hardinero.  The gardener who said Sir, don’t cut the tree, leave it for this year also.  Basi pa man lang.  The gardener who dug around the tree with a hoe and a spade to cultivate and soften the soil because it may bear fruit in the future. Basi pa man lang. The gardener who held manure in his hands, distribute it around the roots to fertilize it because it may bear fruit in the future. Basi pa man lang.

Maintiendihan mo man ini kon may anak ka nga tig-a ulo, ang tanan nag-give up na sa iya, kag ikaw na lang ang nabilin nga naga-unong sa iya kay…. basi pa man lang, basi pa man lang.

So who is God?  This is God.

When I was a new priest I got sick for three years- my body was racked in pain I had difficulty walking and there were times when I could hardly move even my arms.  Nagahara-hara pa ako tani sa pagkapari, pero umpisa pa lang wala na ibuga, tanan ko nga handum naalimunaw na.  And so I also questioned God – abi ko ginahigugma mo ako, abi ko ginaatipan mo ang naghalad sang ila kabuhi sa imo.  Ano gid bala ang akon sala nga nahimo?  It was in those days of pain that God invited me to know him deeper, to know him better, and this is what I wrote then 20 or so years agod, nakita ko sa ba-ul:

In these times of helplessness I believe in a God who cries with me whenever I cry in my pain.  I believe in a God who shouts in anger whenever I shout in anger because of my disability and powerlessness.  I believe in a God who cuddles me to sleep when I am too tired, too sick, too frustrated with my life.  I believe in a God who suffers with me, who shares my joys, my pain, my concerns even though how petty.  I believe in a God who does not want me to suffer.  I believe in a God who permitted himself to suffer and die so that I will not suffer and die in the pains of hell.  I believe in a God who loves me, who accepts me as I am with all my sins, with all my failures, with all my emptiness.

So who is God?  This is God.

So why am I telling you these?  Because only when we have come to accept a God who gave his name to become vulnerable for us; only when we have come to accept a God who never gives up on us no matter how hard-headed we have become; only when we have come to accept God who suffers for us and with us; only then can we understand the God in Calvary. Only then can we understand Good Friday.