adoption, the gospel - feast of carmel

We have always looked at adoption from the perspective of the adopted child.  How does it feel like to be adopted, how does it feel to be abandoned by one's real parents, how does it feel to know for the first time that after all those years you are not a real son or a real daughter and that you are "just" adopted?

As a consequence, we also look at adoption from the perspective of the parent, the real parents who abandoned or have given up the child.  Why abandon me, why leave, why can't they stand on their commitment to me, what is wrong with them, what is wrong with me?

Many times we only look at adoption from these two perspectives.

But there is another perspective.  Allow me to tell you about it.

Several years ago a mother for whatever reason left her newborn boy inside one of the restrooms of the cathedral.  His umbilical cord was still fresh, it was cut but not properly clipped.  Because of the commotion he created we have to go through the backdoor of the convent so that we can escape from the curious crowd and the media hounding us.  We brought him to the hospital and they gave him emergency treatment.  But they could not do more – they could not officially admit him, or do further examination because he did not have a name, a certificate of live birth or whatever.  So I did what I do best.  I borrowed a stole from the chapel, asked for a pitcher of water and a basin, I called everyone in, and baptized the boy giving him a first name and a family name.  Then I turned to the nurse and asked if that was good enough.  The wonderful nurse nodded in assent and the boy was finally and officially admitted. 

Then they asked us to buy things needed by the baby.  And so happily we all marched to the mall to buy baby bottles, baby clothes, baby gloves, baby socks, lampin, etc.  It was all so exciting.  I have never been so excited in my life.  I was ecstatic.  Little did I know that that was the only fun part.  The rest was a bit traumatic. 

I remember fighting DSWD because they wanted custody of the child and they were going to have him cared for as a foundling by a protestant institution.  I remember shouting at the attendant, "but I baptized him!" I even made arrangements to go to Cebu so that I can leave him to the care of the sisters only to find out that I cannot ride a plane carrying an unknown child.  I also remember talking in a low tone with somebody in the hospital room because the hospital bill had to be paid and half of my savings were already spent for him.  At one point we have to get out of the room because I don't want the baby to feel that he is a burden to us.  When the baby was finally brought to the convent we have to take turns watching him, feeding him, cleaning him.  We have to distribute among ourselves as to who will buy the next can of milk, who will sponsor the next pack of diapers, who will pay the yaya.  It came to a point when Bishop Gerry with a loud sigh said, ano na ni ang ginsudlan ta.  It was not easy. Decisions have to be made, we cannot think only of the present but also the future and not just ours but also his.  And yet we also don't want to part.  And yet deep inside we also know that he is not for us.  You see adoption is always a choice.  In an adoption the adopting parent doesn't have to, he doesn't have to, but he chose to.  There is no pressure except love, there is no force except compassion.  The birth of a child is a given, and love, care, devotion, the bond that binds mother and child, father and child, all comes naturally.  But in adoption you choose to love, in adoption you choose to carry the burden, in adoption you choose to embrace the abandoned, you choose to give up something so that you can have him. In adoption you have to pay the price and you cannot back out.  You had it easy when there was none, you took things lightly when there was none, but then you risked everything for the sake of this little child, this little other.  Adoption is pure gift.  Indi kay, anhon mo pa kay ara na.  Adoption is pure gift.  That's the other perspective of adoption and I am telling this because of St. Paul.

In our second reading St. Paul invites us to look at adoption this time from the point of view of the adopting parent.  In this short verse Paul wants us to understand what the adopting Father went through when he chose to adopt us.  St Paul wants us to understand what the adopting Father had to give up when he decided to adopt us to become his children.  St Paul wants us to see firsthand what the real Son, Jesus, had to go through because the Father loves and wants us to be his sons and daughters and to become heirs with his real Son.  God doesn't have to, God is not pressured except by his mercy towards us, God is not forced to do so except by his compassion, God is not obliged except by love.  Have you ever thought about that, how it felt like, how it was, how an adopting parent came to that excruciating decision to adopt, to make and claim a child as his very own?

And that is what St. Paul said God did to us.  "God sent forth his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons."

Today we gather to honor that woman mentioned by St. Paul who made this adoption possible, the woman through whom God entered our world and our life.  The great exegete and father of the church Origen observes that Paul says that Jesus was born of a woman and not born through a woman because Mary is a true mother to Jesus, she gave him her flesh and her blood.  She is a real mother and not an adoptive mother, and Jesus in relation to her is not an adopted son but a true son. 

But in the gospel we see an interesting twist. On the cross Jesus wants Mary to adopt the beloved disciple, to be a mother to him, to surround the disciple with kindness and concern only a mother can give.  And the disciple is asked to respond to this care with the tenderness of a son. And the gospel affirms that indeed at that very hour the disciple took her to his own home.  That statement experts say is loaded with so much depth.  Taking her, taking Mary with him should be translated as he welcomed her as a gift, he welcomed her maternity, her care, her concern as a precious gift from God.  And receiving her to his home means the disciple welcomed her among his precious spiritual possessions, a legacy bequeathed to him and to all of us, shared with us by the Lord himself – his mother.  Some commentators would say that in this gospel, at a time when Jesus was going through what it takes to redeem us in order to make us adopted children of the Father, the fullness of time according to St. Paul, he gave us his Mother to care for us, not to be cared for by us, but to take care of us.  That is why we welcome her as a gift, a gift for she is one of our precious spiritual possessions – to know that I am cared for by a mother.  All of us here who have already lost our mothers know how important that is - to know that I am always cared for by a mother. 

Allow me to end as in the novena days with a challenge to do corporal and spiritual works of mercy.  I never fulfilled my dream of adopting a child.  I believe I am incapable.  The life I chose as a priest was not made for something that important.  And I also believe that my celibacy, a vow that I cannot form a family of my own is so intrinsically bound to my vocation and mission in the church.  I cannot have both gifts, the gift of having a family and the gift of the church.

But in a world that rejects children as an intrusion, in a world that uses abortion and birth control simply to keep children away, in a world that refuses to embrace the pain and joy, not just the joy, but the pain and joy of having children, in a world that rejects the stress and cost of children in order to maximize its freedom and comforts, adopting parents, parents who chose to adopt are people who have formed in themselves the heart of God himself.  Who can be more merciful than that, what can be more compassionate, what can be more unselfish?  Adoption is the heart of the gospel.  It is not ordinary providence like we are provided by God food and health and money and peace. No.  More than that adoption is the gospel, the good news.

God sent forth his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons."  Woman, behold, your son.”  Then to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple welcomed her motherly care as a gift, as a spiritual possession bequeathed by the Lord himself.