a garage wedding
I officiated the marriage of Manuel and Liezl of Barangay Benedicto last Tuesday. It was a normal wedding complete with a well-dressed couple, the bride in white wedding gown and the groom in an over-sized barong, and they have flower girls too who carried ceramic baskets. As I said it was normal except for the place where the wedding was held and the groom. It was a garage wedding with a makeshift altar covered in white and a makeshift kneeler in front with throw pillows placed on top of what looked like a doormat. I had them removed because in this almost normal wedding the groom cannot kneel. He had a major stroke a year ago and he cannot even walk unaided. With the support of the community and a tireless wife they got what they wanted – to be married in church, or more factually, in the garage before a priest.
In the wedding, Murphy’s law took place – if anything can go wrong, it will – the wedding ring for the groom was too tight. The veil sponsors, who were also the candle and cord sponsors, had to be couched as to how the veil is placed on the head of the bride and the shoulders of the groom. Caught in photo, they were one proudly beaming couple with 4 veil sponsors at the back struggling to keep the veil in place. Also the photo op for the first official kiss had to be done several times because our amateur photographer could not capture the exact moment, and kissing, it seemed, required some great effort after a stroke.
We had snacks after the wedding too – a simple fare of Pancit Lomi from Dainty (a nostalgic snacks, indeed), bread and softdrinks. It was a very simple wedding held in the simplicity of a garage – no bridal marches, no beautiful choir (but there was singing), no bouquets (but there were flowers placed on the altar) and no long aisle to march on. If there was anything that glittered that afternoon it was the honesty of a poor couple in love and the sincerity of a vow uttered in real time – in sickness and in health . . . till death do us part. There was a short pause when we reached that part. It was uttered in labored honesty. For Liezl it was not easy to say that part.
People nowadays are no longer used to simple weddings. The supposedly grandeur of church weddings is even used as a reason to postpone it and make do for the meantime with civil marriage while the savings did not come up to the cost of an ideal wedding straight from fairy tales. Others would even content themselves with civil marriage for the rest of their lives assigning marriages in church only to people who can afford.
But marriages are just too important a relationship to be left to a judge or even to the mayor or simply just to the couple themselves who agree to live together. In the gospel of Matthew Jesus told the Pharisees that “what God has joined together let no man separate.” More than just an anti-divorce passage in scriptures it tells us who unites the couple. God unites the couple thus man cannot separate what God has joined together. It is not the mayor or the judge who unites. It is not even the couple though both consent to do so. But it is God. Marriage is too important a relationship to be left to man. It is sacred! It is the domain of the divine. Personally, I am against any legislation (the reproductive health bill for one) that encroaches in the rights of the couple and God. The state and not even the church can decide for example how many children the couple should have. It is a decision they have to make with God, and no church law, much more no state law could interfere in that sacred duty. If they do interfere it is merely to assist the couple in the decisions they have made.
In our parish we have tasked the Legion of Mary, Curia Candelaria, to do what they can to help civilly married couples go through the process of sacramentalizing their marriages. The Family for Christ and the Couples for Christ are also doing their share, with the former offering their choir for poor couples at no cost. I believe every religious organization and even every catholic family should do their share in helping our brothers and sisters avail of the sacrament. The celebration of the sacrament is after all a community affair, and never private and it is the duty of the community to assist these couples so that they will not be deprived of the gifts of the sacrament.
In the wedding, Murphy’s law took place – if anything can go wrong, it will – the wedding ring for the groom was too tight. The veil sponsors, who were also the candle and cord sponsors, had to be couched as to how the veil is placed on the head of the bride and the shoulders of the groom. Caught in photo, they were one proudly beaming couple with 4 veil sponsors at the back struggling to keep the veil in place. Also the photo op for the first official kiss had to be done several times because our amateur photographer could not capture the exact moment, and kissing, it seemed, required some great effort after a stroke.
We had snacks after the wedding too – a simple fare of Pancit Lomi from Dainty (a nostalgic snacks, indeed), bread and softdrinks. It was a very simple wedding held in the simplicity of a garage – no bridal marches, no beautiful choir (but there was singing), no bouquets (but there were flowers placed on the altar) and no long aisle to march on. If there was anything that glittered that afternoon it was the honesty of a poor couple in love and the sincerity of a vow uttered in real time – in sickness and in health . . . till death do us part. There was a short pause when we reached that part. It was uttered in labored honesty. For Liezl it was not easy to say that part.
People nowadays are no longer used to simple weddings. The supposedly grandeur of church weddings is even used as a reason to postpone it and make do for the meantime with civil marriage while the savings did not come up to the cost of an ideal wedding straight from fairy tales. Others would even content themselves with civil marriage for the rest of their lives assigning marriages in church only to people who can afford.
But marriages are just too important a relationship to be left to a judge or even to the mayor or simply just to the couple themselves who agree to live together. In the gospel of Matthew Jesus told the Pharisees that “what God has joined together let no man separate.” More than just an anti-divorce passage in scriptures it tells us who unites the couple. God unites the couple thus man cannot separate what God has joined together. It is not the mayor or the judge who unites. It is not even the couple though both consent to do so. But it is God. Marriage is too important a relationship to be left to man. It is sacred! It is the domain of the divine. Personally, I am against any legislation (the reproductive health bill for one) that encroaches in the rights of the couple and God. The state and not even the church can decide for example how many children the couple should have. It is a decision they have to make with God, and no church law, much more no state law could interfere in that sacred duty. If they do interfere it is merely to assist the couple in the decisions they have made.
In our parish we have tasked the Legion of Mary, Curia Candelaria, to do what they can to help civilly married couples go through the process of sacramentalizing their marriages. The Family for Christ and the Couples for Christ are also doing their share, with the former offering their choir for poor couples at no cost. I believe every religious organization and even every catholic family should do their share in helping our brothers and sisters avail of the sacrament. The celebration of the sacrament is after all a community affair, and never private and it is the duty of the community to assist these couples so that they will not be deprived of the gifts of the sacrament.
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