kim's bebut

My coming here to speak in behalf of the mother of the debutante brings with it a lot of first. This is the first debut in the family after so many years. This is also the first time I am speaking in a debut. And to cap it all, this is also the first time I’m attending a debut. In our time while I was growing up in the seminary we were never allowed to attend debuts under the pain of expulsion.
It is for this reason that I did some little research about a word I hear so often but never have had any first hand knowledge about.


Now this is something I got from an encyclopedia. A debutante is a young lady from an aristocratic or upper class family who has reached the age of maturity, and as a new adult, is introduced to society at a formal presentation known as her “debut” or “coming out.” It meant then that the young woman was eligible for marriage, and part of the purpose was to display her to eligible bachelors and their families with a view to marriage within a select upper class circle. The etymology is deb which is a French word meaning a female beginner, and debut means the coming out or the presentation to the public.
Now I understand why we were not allowed to attend debuts. At our time when words were really taken to mean what they say, we were not allowed to attend a debut because we were not to consider ourselves eligible bachelors.
Let it be clear then “as it was in the beginning is now and forever will be” that if I am attending this debut, I come not as an eligible bachelor but as the uncle of the debutante.
Kim is the first daughter, the first grand daughter and the first niece. She is the quiet, gentle type - a trait which Gilay and especially Nana balanced in our household when these provided us the noise.
Being the first however she never did claim center stage, but she would work silently, always at the backstage, always in the wings, never attracting attention to herself. But she would always be there in her supporting role, in her gentle demeanor. Forgive my chauvinism but I think she is what we may call the classic woman.
Now she has come of age – she has passed the boundary that separates children from adults. She has crossed the line which marks and delineates childishness from responsibility. This passage is very important and more so in our day and age. May that line be marked not just by birthdays and balls, but by real attitudes of responsibility at an age and at that age when responsible decisions are made, allowed and are respected by all; when independence means standing on your own two feet and being accountable for what you do; when you are freed so to say from parental inquisitiveness and control so as to be allowed to exercise responsible freedom. May these be marked not by age but by attitudes so that as you grow old you also grow up for there are people who grow old without growing up.
So permit me to wish you in our own way – ad multos annos et multas coronas – for many years and for many crowns and successes.

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