the role of a seminary formator

This homily was delivered during vespers . . . during the changing of the guards. Msgr. Nonet, now a bishop, was replaced by Msgr. Joema as Rector of the Seminary. Basically I was asking myself in this reflection, what is the role of a seminary rector and for that matter, what is the role of a seminary formator in the church?


For years now I have been trying to look for a biblical passage that would justify my work in formation and at the same time guide us formators in our tasks. I believe our work is a unique call. If it wasn’t unique, then the seminary from whence I came could have prepared me better. But I was not, which leads me to the conclusion that it must have been something our formators then never thought our bishops would even think of doing, probably presuming too much that they have the fullness of the Holy Spirit. For the record, Msgr. Joemarie was my spiritual director when I was in theology.

The uniqueness of our role as seminary formators in the Archdiocese requires a unique call, a call which comes from our gospel today, a call which Andrew probably unknowingly and visibly hesitatingly answered. Amidst the consternation of Philip as to where he could get food to feed a large crowd Andrew came up unknowingly and visibly hesitatingly with a solution. In the midst of Jesus’ concern and probably anxiety that people will go hungry, that people will go home starving, Andrew came up unknowingly and visibly hesitatingly with a solution – “there is a boy here . . . There is a boy here!” The solution was at once filled with hope and expectation but in the same line it was also filled with hesitation and vacillation. There is a boy here! The answer Andrew proposed to Jesus was at once filled with anticipation at the prospect of finding a solution to the problem and the anxiety of Jesus, and yet in the same breath he expressed uncertainty and improbability in his heart. “There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what good are these for so many?” “But what good are these for so many?” Andrew knew that it was an impossible a solution. Andrew knew that he was asking too much from Jesus. But Andrew never hesitated to present the boy. There is a boy here!
The task of Andrew is the task of every formator. It is the task of every rector. To present within the ambit of Christ’s love and power the boy and whatever little he has, whether it be five barley loaves and two fish or even less to feed thousands. Msgr. come to think of it, the task is not that tremendous as though we are here to move mountains. That is the task of Jesus. Not ours. Jesus is the formator. All we have to do is present the boy to Jesus. All we have to do here is to call on Jesus, dragging the hesitating boy perhaps to his presence and say, There is a boy here!
If indeed the task of seminary formators is immense, the immensity lies in the belief, in our conviction, in our faith - in our belief that the boy’s five barley loaves and two fish can feed thousands. It lies in our conviction that what the little boy has can do tremendous things for the flock Jesus loves. It lies in our faith that what this little boy can offer can multiply to unimaginable magnitude in the church and in the people Jesus has offered his life for. This I believe is the greatest and most exhausting task of every seminary formator, and more so of the rector - to believe, to be convinced and to have faith in the boy.
Andrew found it difficult so that in the same line and breath that he presented the boy he asked a question which will be repeated time and again in the formator’s heart: but what good are these for so many?
Time and again I have asked this question. Msgr. the children entrusted to you will unhesitatingly tell you about them. Some are very fresh in their memories. Times when I have given up. Times when as an administration we have given up to doubts and vacillated in our convictions.
There are some parish priests who do not understand, who do not have an inkling as to what is happening in the formator’s heart and mind in his struggle in his faith and conviction. I would rather ran a parish and walk for hours to celebrate mass in a barangay, than be bedeviled for weeks in tears and that feeling of loneliness and anguish over somebody who is not even my nephew. In my case, I would rather go through the pains of arthritis than go through the pain of doubts, uncertainties and fear.
Andrew is right in presenting the boy. But he is also right in presenting his fears. Human formators, human as we are, we hesitate at times. But Jesus never hesitated to feed his flock from what we present him. Jesus never reneged nor went back on his promise that his flock will never remain untended from the little that we present. All we did was present. That is how easy it was. All we did was present. That is what makes it also complicated and burdensome.
Tonight we gather as a family, in the homeliness that has always been and hopefully will always be. In this setting I bare my soul and my feelings – the feelings of one who has shared part of his life in formation. In this familiar and familial setting I have come up to this pulpit to share with you my sentiments and conviction – a conviction to a call which is unique, and a call responded to with a heart that is human, and at the same time called to become something beyond itself.
Formators will come and go. We have a new rector now, tatay Joema, a new tatay as you would often repeat in settings like this. Our old tatay will move on. He will go, he is being asked to go by the bishop, he is going to leave us as rector. Msgr. Nonet has more experiences than I had, more than triple the number of years that I have been here. He has known how it is. He has known how it was. The memories he has, he will cherish, memories that like Andrew he would recollect years later, the day when he presented the boy who barely got anything, to the Lord.
Legends have been written about this boy who was presented by Andrew, how he grew up and what became of him – a true disciple of the Lord who labored in his vineyard, who preached the goodness of the Lord to all peoples, that boy who in that legend offered no longer the basket of five barley loaves and two fish, but his very own life, his own blood as a martyr. From the five barley loaves and two fish he offered himself in a magnitude only God can imagine, only God can do. It was a beautiful story and I read one when I was in my elementary years. I can still remember the pictures in that book. How I wish I can show you that book, but I cannot find that book anymore. And no, I do not want to look for and find that book though. I want to see the boy himself. Where is the boy, the boy that Msgr. Nonet presented to the Lord when he said, There is a boy here. There is a boy here. Where is that boy?