to our beloved assumption (old girls/old boys 2008, 1st sun. of lent)
How does it feel for a young boy to begin his early development in socialization skills in a predominantly all-girl institution? Frankly, I have to do some deep thinking. But let me tell you of its effects.
When Liit Celiz texted me that I would celebrate mass with the ruby jubilarians during their retreat in Bo. Obrero, I have to text back that I cannot do it, not just because of a schedule gone haywire due to the fiesta of Jaro but also because out of delicadeza. I can’t be domineering the sights and sounds not excluding the thoughts of the old girls/old boys day of 2008 by celebrating the two most important masses these alumnae would attend. However, Liit was not convinced, so she called me up on my cellphone. I let it rung and held my ground for what seemed like hours fighting the temptation to answer.
Eventually, thank God, it stopped ringing. And I have to leave my room in a hurry for there just might be a follow-up call. Luckily she did not call back. I think she understood my dilemma.
Let me be frank with you on one of the things Assumption education, this predominantly all-girl institution made me into - It bleeds my heart to deny directly a woman’s request! The only way for me to spare myself a guilty conscience is to not actually hear a woman’s pleading voice. Thank God for text messages.
Probably this is what you get when you grew up in a school where you have seen Marivic Zialcita kick the soccer ball farther that you can, or Agnes Hechanova playing basketball better than you can, and when you’re so used to giving way when Happy Uybico comes huffing and puffing around. That is why we old boys, until recently, have to go through a lot of hurdles just to be acknowledged in a gathering like this. I am not saying that you are blocking our integration and overlooking our importance. I said it is just a feeling - a feeling one feels when the women early in one’s life seemed to be the overwhelmingly stronger and dominant sex.
Since we have started this reflection by looking at the seemingly long term effects of the battle of the sexes early on in life, we might as well center our reflection today concerning the growth in relationship between men and women, something that Assumption must continue to build in us if we are to grow holy and wholly (with a w).
I would like to divide this reflection into three. The first temptation of Jesus will be the temptation common to men. The second temptation of Jesus is the temptation common to women. And the third temptation of Jesus is a challenge and a call for us, men and women, to finally recognize and perhaps outgrow our early years in Assumption so that the men and women she produced will come out as complementary entities rather than competing forces.
The first temptation of Jesus, the temptation of hunger is the temptation of finding immediate solutions and of producing immediate results. “You’re hungry? Then change this stone into bread. Use your power. What are you in power for?” It is the temptation common to men, the temptation to take control and to be always in command of the situation. After all, boys don’t cry, they fight back. No wonder, unlike women, it is difficult to make men come to reunions like this. This is one event filled with insecurity after all. You can never know what and how your classmates see you. Perhaps they will notice, quiet loudly, your receding hairline, or your protruding belly. Or when they describe you as handsome they just might refer to it in the "very" past tense. Or perhaps they might ask you embarrassingly about your failed relationships, or your unsuccessful business enterprise.
But Jesus was quiet frank with this devilish temptation. He said, “Man does not live on bread alone.” He was in effect saying, “Look, you are not your receding hairline; your failed relationship does not make you a bad person; your disastrous business venture does not turn you into a disaster.”
This temptation of Jesus, this temptation common to men is a match between the need to control, the need to find solutions to every problem versus the gentle way of letting go and letting be. Let go and let be, for it may be true that boys don’t cry, but men do. As we grow older we have to learn to accept our vulnerabilities, that there are givens and realities in our lives that are not within our control, that are beyond us, which we can only accept and embrace. It may be what it is, but what is, does not and can never define who we are.
Can our young choir please say after me: “Tito Jungie, you are more than your receding hairline!” See, they are already learning early in life! Thank you Jungie and thank you Michael for putting us, old boys, on stage. At least in the streamers this year we are now only a (/) slash away.
The second temptation of Jesus, the temptation common to women is the temptation to be largely and sometimes entirely moved by the heart, the temptation to entrust themselves to others and accept things as they come. Well Jesus was absorbed by the same movement, and to a certain extent permitted himself to be taken up, taken way up high to the temple parapet where the tempter told him to jump, for it is assured in the bible that the angels will catch him before he hits the ground. Imagine if Jesus followed that movement. Jesus would have given an imprimatur on attitudes like “trusting God to do things for us.”
Women by the nature of their role as mothers are naturally more adept to handling pain and suffering than men do, and added to this is the fact that they are more sensitive to pain than most men. The feminine attributes of love, attentiveness, tenderness and generosity necessarily gives them that capacity to endure quiet longer the consequent suffering and pain. But women should be more discerning and I should say discriminating in embracing this consequence. Suffering is never intended for suffering’s sake – that’s masochism. Suffering can only be a means, and can only be embraced when it becomes an inescapable and necessary means for real happiness, only if it holds a joyful promise, a joyful background of living according to God’s heart.
Marie Eugenie suffered. Suffering can only come as intensely as it does to many of us only after we have known so much joy in life. And this is exactly what Marie Eugenie underwent. After a happy childhood, his father, a man of politics and a banker, went bankrupt. This bankruptcy did not just make them poor, it also broke up the family. She went with her mother. As they say when it rains it pours and tragedy really poured in her life. Marie Eugenie was alone at the age of 15. Her mother who meant everything to her, died.
It was a joy to be given . . . for free, the privilege of joining the pilgrimage to retrace the steps of Marie Eugenie in France. But I was pained when we were made to pay to enter the house where Marie Eugenie was born, baptized and where she lived her happy childhood because it was now somebody else’s house.
And yet she said later something that has become too familiar to us now: “It pains me to hear this earth called a land of exile. I consider it a place of glory for God.” Now these words cannot come from a woman drowned in her own tears. These words cannot come from a woman too preoccupied with the tragedies of her life. No, it could only come from somebody joyful, someone happy and somebody who has come out fulfilled.
Marie Eugenie did not dwell and hang about in her pains. It was not to be a sort of stopping place in her life. She moved on. She took responsibility. If she did jump over the temple parapet it was a plunge she responsibly took.
This temptation of Jesus, this temptation which I call common to women is a match between the need to merely accept things as they are versus taking the responsibility for jumping, taking the responsibility for living and extracting from life the fulfillment, happiness and the rightful place women deserve. And besides, the answer of Jesus is equally significant. You shall not put your God to the test. We cannot make God do for us what we can ably do for ourselves only if we have the courage to get out from our addiction to suffering.
In my time we were blessed with women teachers whose lack of bodily curves and artistically sculpted bodily proportions were overly compensated by their strong character which I can only describe in a stereotypical term as almost “manly.” I remember Miss Divinagracia, Miss Cabrera, Miss Jurilla, Miss Adrias (I am referring to the elder Adrias, who by the way, Cecile, with your father were still the most spied-on sweethearts when I was in Grade Five.) and of course Miss Patingo, whom I strongly make as an exemption to my first description of teachers lacking bodily curves. She is still as sexy as she was, which makes me agree with the observations of Michelangelo and the Renaissance artists that virginity keeps you young! (Please don’t laugh so loudly for the old girls here might feel alluded to!) They were a charming and beautiful blend of gracefulness and strength of purpose, stern yet warm, firm yet gentle and motherly. These are the women too that surrounded a young boy once and I tell you it made a lot of difference in the company of these women.
The third temptation of Jesus is a challenge for all of us men and women. We are called to take stock of who we are in our femininity and manliness, to go beyond the paradigms and stereotypes of the sexes and to live out what God has intended for us when he created us as men and women. We cannot remain like Adam and Eve in the first reading feigning responsibility for a mistake and transgression we have the capacity to ably avoid. We have to look at our differences in terms of complementing rather than competing; to think in terms of completing rather than finding ways of overtaking each other or putting each other down; to see our differences as venues for mutual giving or reciprocation rather than seeing these as mere differentiation and even be the cause of negating each other. To my mind Assumption Together can only mean that.
Prostrating to the tempter in our lives as women and men can prevent us from truly appreciating our uniqueness and at the same time our need for each other, whether as parents or in parenting, whether as priests or religious in our schools and churches. This collaboration is important – we bring with us our masculinity, as you bring with you your femininity. Only then can that humanity in each one of us be made holy and whole.
I had my last dance here in Assumption when I was in grade 4 dancing as the prince to the tune of Shall We Dance in the play the King and I with Agnes Hechanova as one of the princesses. I had also my last “escorting” job dressed this time as some sort of tribal royalty with Rica Tinsay during Filipino week, which was also the first and last time I have embarrassingly shown my belly button on stage. These memories sometimes would evoke feelings of the delightful nostalgia of years gone by. But these images have always been a reference, that women and men together are not threats to each other but humanity in mutual embrace, holding tightly each other’s hands in a dance that completes us before God.
To adore God and God alone means to appreciate the wisdom that has made us male and female, woman and man, wife and husband, alumnae and alumni, old girls/(slash) old boys.
Assumption education must see to it therefore that this journey of discovery and appreciation continues. Only then can we sing as Assumption Together Si! La tierra es un lugar de gloria para Dios – gloria, gloria, gloria!
When Liit Celiz texted me that I would celebrate mass with the ruby jubilarians during their retreat in Bo. Obrero, I have to text back that I cannot do it, not just because of a schedule gone haywire due to the fiesta of Jaro but also because out of delicadeza. I can’t be domineering the sights and sounds not excluding the thoughts of the old girls/old boys day of 2008 by celebrating the two most important masses these alumnae would attend. However, Liit was not convinced, so she called me up on my cellphone. I let it rung and held my ground for what seemed like hours fighting the temptation to answer.
Eventually, thank God, it stopped ringing. And I have to leave my room in a hurry for there just might be a follow-up call. Luckily she did not call back. I think she understood my dilemma.
Let me be frank with you on one of the things Assumption education, this predominantly all-girl institution made me into - It bleeds my heart to deny directly a woman’s request! The only way for me to spare myself a guilty conscience is to not actually hear a woman’s pleading voice. Thank God for text messages.
Probably this is what you get when you grew up in a school where you have seen Marivic Zialcita kick the soccer ball farther that you can, or Agnes Hechanova playing basketball better than you can, and when you’re so used to giving way when Happy Uybico comes huffing and puffing around. That is why we old boys, until recently, have to go through a lot of hurdles just to be acknowledged in a gathering like this. I am not saying that you are blocking our integration and overlooking our importance. I said it is just a feeling - a feeling one feels when the women early in one’s life seemed to be the overwhelmingly stronger and dominant sex.
Since we have started this reflection by looking at the seemingly long term effects of the battle of the sexes early on in life, we might as well center our reflection today concerning the growth in relationship between men and women, something that Assumption must continue to build in us if we are to grow holy and wholly (with a w).
I would like to divide this reflection into three. The first temptation of Jesus will be the temptation common to men. The second temptation of Jesus is the temptation common to women. And the third temptation of Jesus is a challenge and a call for us, men and women, to finally recognize and perhaps outgrow our early years in Assumption so that the men and women she produced will come out as complementary entities rather than competing forces.
The first temptation of Jesus, the temptation of hunger is the temptation of finding immediate solutions and of producing immediate results. “You’re hungry? Then change this stone into bread. Use your power. What are you in power for?” It is the temptation common to men, the temptation to take control and to be always in command of the situation. After all, boys don’t cry, they fight back. No wonder, unlike women, it is difficult to make men come to reunions like this. This is one event filled with insecurity after all. You can never know what and how your classmates see you. Perhaps they will notice, quiet loudly, your receding hairline, or your protruding belly. Or when they describe you as handsome they just might refer to it in the "very" past tense. Or perhaps they might ask you embarrassingly about your failed relationships, or your unsuccessful business enterprise.
But Jesus was quiet frank with this devilish temptation. He said, “Man does not live on bread alone.” He was in effect saying, “Look, you are not your receding hairline; your failed relationship does not make you a bad person; your disastrous business venture does not turn you into a disaster.”
This temptation of Jesus, this temptation common to men is a match between the need to control, the need to find solutions to every problem versus the gentle way of letting go and letting be. Let go and let be, for it may be true that boys don’t cry, but men do. As we grow older we have to learn to accept our vulnerabilities, that there are givens and realities in our lives that are not within our control, that are beyond us, which we can only accept and embrace. It may be what it is, but what is, does not and can never define who we are.
Can our young choir please say after me: “Tito Jungie, you are more than your receding hairline!” See, they are already learning early in life! Thank you Jungie and thank you Michael for putting us, old boys, on stage. At least in the streamers this year we are now only a (/) slash away.
The second temptation of Jesus, the temptation common to women is the temptation to be largely and sometimes entirely moved by the heart, the temptation to entrust themselves to others and accept things as they come. Well Jesus was absorbed by the same movement, and to a certain extent permitted himself to be taken up, taken way up high to the temple parapet where the tempter told him to jump, for it is assured in the bible that the angels will catch him before he hits the ground. Imagine if Jesus followed that movement. Jesus would have given an imprimatur on attitudes like “trusting God to do things for us.”
Women by the nature of their role as mothers are naturally more adept to handling pain and suffering than men do, and added to this is the fact that they are more sensitive to pain than most men. The feminine attributes of love, attentiveness, tenderness and generosity necessarily gives them that capacity to endure quiet longer the consequent suffering and pain. But women should be more discerning and I should say discriminating in embracing this consequence. Suffering is never intended for suffering’s sake – that’s masochism. Suffering can only be a means, and can only be embraced when it becomes an inescapable and necessary means for real happiness, only if it holds a joyful promise, a joyful background of living according to God’s heart.
Marie Eugenie suffered. Suffering can only come as intensely as it does to many of us only after we have known so much joy in life. And this is exactly what Marie Eugenie underwent. After a happy childhood, his father, a man of politics and a banker, went bankrupt. This bankruptcy did not just make them poor, it also broke up the family. She went with her mother. As they say when it rains it pours and tragedy really poured in her life. Marie Eugenie was alone at the age of 15. Her mother who meant everything to her, died.
It was a joy to be given . . . for free, the privilege of joining the pilgrimage to retrace the steps of Marie Eugenie in France. But I was pained when we were made to pay to enter the house where Marie Eugenie was born, baptized and where she lived her happy childhood because it was now somebody else’s house.
And yet she said later something that has become too familiar to us now: “It pains me to hear this earth called a land of exile. I consider it a place of glory for God.” Now these words cannot come from a woman drowned in her own tears. These words cannot come from a woman too preoccupied with the tragedies of her life. No, it could only come from somebody joyful, someone happy and somebody who has come out fulfilled.
Marie Eugenie did not dwell and hang about in her pains. It was not to be a sort of stopping place in her life. She moved on. She took responsibility. If she did jump over the temple parapet it was a plunge she responsibly took.
This temptation of Jesus, this temptation which I call common to women is a match between the need to merely accept things as they are versus taking the responsibility for jumping, taking the responsibility for living and extracting from life the fulfillment, happiness and the rightful place women deserve. And besides, the answer of Jesus is equally significant. You shall not put your God to the test. We cannot make God do for us what we can ably do for ourselves only if we have the courage to get out from our addiction to suffering.
In my time we were blessed with women teachers whose lack of bodily curves and artistically sculpted bodily proportions were overly compensated by their strong character which I can only describe in a stereotypical term as almost “manly.” I remember Miss Divinagracia, Miss Cabrera, Miss Jurilla, Miss Adrias (I am referring to the elder Adrias, who by the way, Cecile, with your father were still the most spied-on sweethearts when I was in Grade Five.) and of course Miss Patingo, whom I strongly make as an exemption to my first description of teachers lacking bodily curves. She is still as sexy as she was, which makes me agree with the observations of Michelangelo and the Renaissance artists that virginity keeps you young! (Please don’t laugh so loudly for the old girls here might feel alluded to!) They were a charming and beautiful blend of gracefulness and strength of purpose, stern yet warm, firm yet gentle and motherly. These are the women too that surrounded a young boy once and I tell you it made a lot of difference in the company of these women.
The third temptation of Jesus is a challenge for all of us men and women. We are called to take stock of who we are in our femininity and manliness, to go beyond the paradigms and stereotypes of the sexes and to live out what God has intended for us when he created us as men and women. We cannot remain like Adam and Eve in the first reading feigning responsibility for a mistake and transgression we have the capacity to ably avoid. We have to look at our differences in terms of complementing rather than competing; to think in terms of completing rather than finding ways of overtaking each other or putting each other down; to see our differences as venues for mutual giving or reciprocation rather than seeing these as mere differentiation and even be the cause of negating each other. To my mind Assumption Together can only mean that.
Prostrating to the tempter in our lives as women and men can prevent us from truly appreciating our uniqueness and at the same time our need for each other, whether as parents or in parenting, whether as priests or religious in our schools and churches. This collaboration is important – we bring with us our masculinity, as you bring with you your femininity. Only then can that humanity in each one of us be made holy and whole.
I had my last dance here in Assumption when I was in grade 4 dancing as the prince to the tune of Shall We Dance in the play the King and I with Agnes Hechanova as one of the princesses. I had also my last “escorting” job dressed this time as some sort of tribal royalty with Rica Tinsay during Filipino week, which was also the first and last time I have embarrassingly shown my belly button on stage. These memories sometimes would evoke feelings of the delightful nostalgia of years gone by. But these images have always been a reference, that women and men together are not threats to each other but humanity in mutual embrace, holding tightly each other’s hands in a dance that completes us before God.
To adore God and God alone means to appreciate the wisdom that has made us male and female, woman and man, wife and husband, alumnae and alumni, old girls/(slash) old boys.
Assumption education must see to it therefore that this journey of discovery and appreciation continues. Only then can we sing as Assumption Together Si! La tierra es un lugar de gloria para Dios – gloria, gloria, gloria!
Comments
nakasandad ko di sa blog mo.
pabasa ko ni sa akon mga ginikanan ang ginsulat mo parte sa ila. pabasa ko pa gid ni guro kay miss patingo, who, according to my 82-year old lolo, is "mal-am dun pay gwapa angud!"