laurence and shiela

Last night I looked at my records - 12 years of records and this is what I have written in my annual report to the administration in the year 2004-2005 - He is responsible, efficient in the tasks assigned to him, creative, has shown a lot of initiative in his responsibilities. He participates well in community activities and does not exhibit difficulty in relating with other people. He shares his insights and ideas readily to the community. However, he has difficulty in delegating tasks for he would often appropriate to himself all the work. He participates well in spiritual activities as well as in his apostolate. 2005-2006 - He is very diligent and resourceful. He is faithful in his spiritual exercises, and has passion for his studies, shows interest in pastoral activities and has developed that sense of sacrifice but with a happy disposition.


Traditionally during seniors night I made it a point each year to thank each member of the graduating class and I wrote this one saying: I would like to thank Lawrence who taught me to work without fanfare, to suffer without groaning or complaining. That like the sun I should light up the moon while remaining at the background, without stealing the scene, without depriving others of the limelight.
What is my point in narrating all these? Because last night I kept on asking myself, why is Laurence coming to the cathedral today to get married when I had been expecting him to come here to be ordained a priest? And so I opened all my record books to refresh my memory and indeed it is true. This is one wedding of an ex-seminarian where my records cannot say, “it was meant to be.” And as if to taunt me further he got Jun Rey to become his best man. So now at the start of the year of the water dragon it seems that my best bets for the priesthood become either the best man or the groom.
So who is to blame for all these? I think the culprit is right there sitting as a sponsor.
Arvin another ex-seminarian was married two weeks ago. Like this one he married a pharmacist. Unlike this one however, I was expecting it. This one has escaped my watchful eye. But true enough I have foreseen this day when at the very first night when we began accommodating pharmacists during summer vacation to have their board review in the seminary, I addressed them in my homily at the mass saying, “my dear future problems.”
So here they are the former future problems presenting themselves on the altar to be married.
I choose to reflect on our first reading today because the marriage of Tobiah and Sarah started as a problem, in fact it started with a life threatening setback. Tobiah was the 8th husband of Sarah, 7 of whom died on the night of the marriage before it can even be consummated. Why? Because the devil has claimed Sarah for himself. But despite the warning Tobiah would not back out from his intent to marry Sarah. So the marriage was done and while they were in their marriage chamber, Raguel, the father of Sarah ordered his servants to already dig a grave for Tobiah. But the Archangel Raphael came to the rescue and drove the devil away, thus saving the love of Tobiah and Sarah. Because of this Tobiah arose from bed and together with Sarah prayed the prayer:
“Blessed are you, O God of our fathers; praised be your name forever and ever. Call down your mercy on me and her, and allow us to live together to a happy old age.
The book of Tobit is a story of a family who would not cease doing good even if the possibility of bringing harm of themselves were very real. Against the wishes of the Emperor they did not stop in their duty to help their fellow men in need. Against the expectations of people and the impracticality they posed, this family never failed to do their duties as spelled out by the law of Moses. And now even against the natural instinct to survive and avoid danger, Tobiah married Sarah whose seven husbands before him did not survive the wedding night. Tobiah is a person who would not cease to do good. Tobiah is a person who would even overcome his fears in order that he would not cease to do good. Tobiah dared himself. Tobiah went against his fears. Why, because as he said in his prayer that night, this is not about lust, this is not about myself feelings, this is not even about myself. This is about a noble purpose - this is about duty.
Shiela, though it pains me that Laurence chose you over the priesthood, I am assured that if he did, it is because of a noble purpose - not just about feelings, not just about emotions but above all the sense of duty.
The world has emphasized too much what we call discretion - as in what do you want, what makes you happy, what gives you pleasure, what’s your preference, do I have options? Let me emphasize that if the world today has become less faithful whether in the living out of the marriage vows or our religious vows it is because it has lost somewhat its sense of duty,- it is because it prefers to will what it feels rather than will what is obliged. Marriage is a duty. It is this sense of duty that will help you never to cease doing good even when everything is at odds. It is this sense of duty that will help you as it helps us overcome our fears. What is this if not faithfulness?
Laurence, take care of Sheila. Take her not for anything but for a noble purpose. It is my belief that a seminarian too good to become a priest is a seminarian too good to become a husband. You have been a good seminarian to us, now be a good husband. The priesthood is a relationship in the same sense that marriage is. It is marked by the same values - never ceasing to do good, overcoming fears in order to do good, sense of duty, faithfulness.