advent
Last Thursday night I attended a birthday party in our BEC in Barangay Benedicto. It was the birthday of Amior. The most delicious “pata” cooked by the host herself, (as a matter of eating principle – I eat these cholesterol rich food only if they are worth dying for – literally!), was not the only come-on in that party. It was also the impromptu program. Well what do you expect from a program produced and casted by old women? Old songs, old songs and more old songs interspersed with the tune of the season – “nobody, nobody but you (clap, clap, clap)” to the delight of all. But what made me enjoy the program? What was it that made me sit it out? Was it because I’m getting old and wanted to hear the songs which the two channels of our black and white TV brought to our living rooms in my boyhood days? Was it because my sense of the beautiful is more inclined to old things and museum pieces?
It was not just the old songs but particularly the kundimans. Probably it was the child in me wanting to be cradled again by some sweet melodious sound that gently rocks one who is constantly bombarded with the tensions of activities to quiet repose. Or probably it was the Filipino in me wanting to bring back a music that is more true to our national sentiment before the second wave of imperialism brought about when McDonalds and American Pop invaded our national consciousness. But most probably what made me stop and listen was the power of the kundiman to stir my heart and my soul to long, to yearn, to pine, to desire, to crave, to dream.
Hinahanap ko ang dati mong pagtingin,
sa buhay kong sinawi ng iyong pagigiliw.
It evokes a questing, a search for something so valuable, and coupled with the romantic tone, for something so dear to one’s life.
Nasaan ngayon ang sumpa mo
sa akin na mamahalin
susuyuin hanggang libing.
The longing is not just simply expressed as in any other ordinary desire, but it becomes a plea that if one has a healthy imagination, one could only imagine himself kneeling on one knee with both hands pointing to the object of desire.
Nais ko sabihin ang mga sanhi at dahilan.
Irog iyong asahan di ko malilimutan
ang pag-ibig kong tanging sa yo habang buhay,
ang pag-ibig ko’y tunay.
The beauty of a kundiman for me is its ability to make its longing, its yearning also my own. It’s terribly infectious. Probably as a people, as a Filipino people we have never really reached the peak, a people who have never really reached the zenith which will put all desires to rest. From one colonial master to the next, from one bad government to the next, our desires are always thwarted and obstructed never ever reaching a sense of fulfillment in ourselves as a people. Probably this is the underlining theme of kundimans, the secret of its appeal, the secret ingredient which it carries that stirs the heart and rouses the soul to dream dreams. It makes you stop, it reminds you of the unending search, it makes you long for the day when all those good desires in one’s heart will one day be put to rest.
This is why I would dare call the season of Advent as the kundiman of the liturgical year – it arouses in us the longing for the day of fulfillment; it stirs us to long for the hour when night will be day, and darkness will be light; it moves us to yearn for that time, that time so talked about in the holy book that the evil in us, in me, will be conquered by good; to long for that time when the evils of the world will be victoriously overwhelmed by the power of goodness.
This longing, these stirrings of yearning are important for a Christian. Once we lose these, we also lose courage. Sufferings and sacrifices, denials and mortifications, dying to oneself and martyrdom – all these make sense because of the longing and expectation for a better life. All these are tolerable because of the yearning for the best that is yet to come. All things are expendable because we are hoping for better things.
The evils and imperfections of our world can only make sense when one sees them with the eyes of Advent. If God created a perfect world, wouldn’t it be inhuman to deprive us with longing and wishing. If everything was provided for, wouldn’t we become less without the hungering and craving? I believe that our world is perfectly imperfect because God wants us to desire and therefore value that which we desire.
This season of Advent let the songs of longing and yearning, let the kundimans of our spirit sound once more, not from organs and vocal chords, not from music pieces, but from our yearnings deep within for that something which in the end only can God can provide.
It was not just the old songs but particularly the kundimans. Probably it was the child in me wanting to be cradled again by some sweet melodious sound that gently rocks one who is constantly bombarded with the tensions of activities to quiet repose. Or probably it was the Filipino in me wanting to bring back a music that is more true to our national sentiment before the second wave of imperialism brought about when McDonalds and American Pop invaded our national consciousness. But most probably what made me stop and listen was the power of the kundiman to stir my heart and my soul to long, to yearn, to pine, to desire, to crave, to dream.
Hinahanap ko ang dati mong pagtingin,
sa buhay kong sinawi ng iyong pagigiliw.
It evokes a questing, a search for something so valuable, and coupled with the romantic tone, for something so dear to one’s life.
Nasaan ngayon ang sumpa mo
sa akin na mamahalin
susuyuin hanggang libing.
The longing is not just simply expressed as in any other ordinary desire, but it becomes a plea that if one has a healthy imagination, one could only imagine himself kneeling on one knee with both hands pointing to the object of desire.
Nais ko sabihin ang mga sanhi at dahilan.
Irog iyong asahan di ko malilimutan
ang pag-ibig kong tanging sa yo habang buhay,
ang pag-ibig ko’y tunay.
The beauty of a kundiman for me is its ability to make its longing, its yearning also my own. It’s terribly infectious. Probably as a people, as a Filipino people we have never really reached the peak, a people who have never really reached the zenith which will put all desires to rest. From one colonial master to the next, from one bad government to the next, our desires are always thwarted and obstructed never ever reaching a sense of fulfillment in ourselves as a people. Probably this is the underlining theme of kundimans, the secret of its appeal, the secret ingredient which it carries that stirs the heart and rouses the soul to dream dreams. It makes you stop, it reminds you of the unending search, it makes you long for the day when all those good desires in one’s heart will one day be put to rest.
This is why I would dare call the season of Advent as the kundiman of the liturgical year – it arouses in us the longing for the day of fulfillment; it stirs us to long for the hour when night will be day, and darkness will be light; it moves us to yearn for that time, that time so talked about in the holy book that the evil in us, in me, will be conquered by good; to long for that time when the evils of the world will be victoriously overwhelmed by the power of goodness.
This longing, these stirrings of yearning are important for a Christian. Once we lose these, we also lose courage. Sufferings and sacrifices, denials and mortifications, dying to oneself and martyrdom – all these make sense because of the longing and expectation for a better life. All these are tolerable because of the yearning for the best that is yet to come. All things are expendable because we are hoping for better things.
The evils and imperfections of our world can only make sense when one sees them with the eyes of Advent. If God created a perfect world, wouldn’t it be inhuman to deprive us with longing and wishing. If everything was provided for, wouldn’t we become less without the hungering and craving? I believe that our world is perfectly imperfect because God wants us to desire and therefore value that which we desire.
This season of Advent let the songs of longing and yearning, let the kundimans of our spirit sound once more, not from organs and vocal chords, not from music pieces, but from our yearnings deep within for that something which in the end only can God can provide.
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