saying our goodbye to the katupongs. . . my last college graduation as prefect

Graduations are always characterized by mixed emotions, and so do many leave-takings. There is always the fear of what lies ahead and the joy of finishing one's journey. There is always the excitement of new experiences and the sadness of having only but memories of what used to be. There is the resolute feeling of facing yet another chance of correcting the past in what lies ahead, and also of carrying the feelings of guilt perhaps, of having to leave so many things undone, so many things untended.


I share the same feelings. I share these with Paul, Arvin, Marvy, Keenan, Charles and Paul; as in the not so distant past I shared the same with Keating and Joel.
I have not made any pretensions about these feelings before you in this past year, and I will not do so now. The sadness we went through was so genuine, and the anger within me was so real to be denied. And yet I would like to give witness to my faith that God does nothing without his goal in mind.
Perhaps this is our way of leave-taking. Perhaps this is our way of saying goodbye. But perhaps too this is God’s way of leading us, however mysteriously, to fulfill his project, a project greater than our hearts and even greater than our desires. It may not be at once clear, but we hope as nobody could ever hope to such a reliable guarantee in God, our loving Father, that all this will lead us to the good..
I was tempted to apologize tonight but I changed my mind as I was writing this. I won’t apologize not because I don’t want to accept my mistakes. I believe they are too glaring to hide and deny. Rather I won’t apologize because I don’t want my mistakes to get into the limelight, otherwise it might get into the way of realizing the tremendous graces from such a loving God through whom all of us became channels and instruments. To make apologies this evening would only feed my fondness for self-pity, a characteristic of one who does not realize God’s mighty hand at work in all things and in all events – the hand which guides each one of you in my presence and more so in my absence as your formator. For us who have faith in God as the God of each one’s history nothing is amiss. Everything shall work for the good. Everything will work for the good. Sometimes it is not easy to believe this but if you have studied St. Paul, the person who wrote this, the person who knew how real guilt felt, how real mistakes made one feel, then this sentence, this proclamation of faith becomes very credible – everything shall work for the good.
Tonight I am in a thankful mood. I thank you for granting me the privilege of serving the college department for the past ten years. Thank you so much for granting me this privilege and thank you also for bearing with me.
I have often said to you that being a formator one is not given the privilege to see the fruit of one’s labor. One has to go through the process of waiting, the excruciating process of delayed gratification when the effects of one’s work will bear fruit years from now, probably not even in one’s lifetime. But that is how it is and after ten years one gets used to that feeling.
Let me remind you that tonight the honor is not for me. It is for our graduates and I should not get the limelight and I should not get in the way of tonight’s affair. And so like all of you my gaze is fixed on the graduates – the Katupong.
So many things happened along the way since they came here 4 years ago. I remember Gallego and Monreal; I remember Sentina and Borcelo; I remember too Nebreja and Guzman. It was not an easy class and every year has its own set of problems. Nevertheless some made it through. Wherever these people are we also remember them tonight for they too have been part of Katupong and therefore part of our lives at least once.
Six made it to this night and we gladly honor them as fighters who have fought the good fight, and runners who have reached finish line.
Arvin. He was the one who translated nerbios into English as "nervous breakdown" - which gave him something almost exactly what he thought he has – a nervous break down. Arvin is a survivor – he is the only pre-college left, and he is a survivor because he is a fighter who never turned his back from a good fight. He almost did not make it 2 years ago but he came back with a vengeance. But in his years here he lost almost all his diads but he stayed on.
Marvy. If Arvin is a survivor from first year college, Marvy is a survivor even from his high school days. Those of you who are still in doubt about the effects of prayers and the advantage of having somebody pray for you everyday, you just have to look at Marvy because he is evidence that prayers are answered, specifically the prayers of his mother. For your information Marvy stays here every weekend break because prayers at home are longer than prayers in the seminary. How many times did he survive evaluation, and how many times did he dodge expulsion – many times since high school. And now he gets to graduate. It was not luck. It was grace.
Paul – But if Marvy always gets away almost scot-free, Paul Carmelo gets away without getting caught. Shrewd – that’s the word that would best characterize him. And the evidence of that natural shrewdness of Paul and his expertise in matters like this is the fact that he even dodge the name we give to people who avoid getting caught – smooth criminal. It was given to Keating instead of him, while in fact it should have been him.
Keenan – If Marvy is too lucky and Paul is just too shrewd, Keenan seems not to notice, though he had happily replaced Yves as the community’s top disciplinarian when the latter moved to theology. Keenan would not have been here tonight if he insisted on leaving when he was moving on to third year. Lucky for him and unluckily for the sleepers and late-comers in the chapel, he changed his mind when I paid for his lunch at Max’s. Keenan is quite sickly all the time – he has high blood, too much sugar, neck braces and whatever he can think of. Unlike us mortals who are afraid of sickness because of the expenses we might incur, Keenan is probably the only person who happily finds a reason to go to the drugstore, probably for other reasons.
Paul – One of the reasons why Keenan has always a reason to go to the drugstore is because of Paul Gaitan. Living with one of the slowest persons can be terribly upsetting not just to your mental balance but also to your physical make-up. Paul might be slow but he did make it to the finish line although by another route – a shortcut probably. Nevertheless he finished with them and we honor him tonight as we honor his fellow racers. Paul must have taken seriously the age old adage – better late than never.
Charles – If Paul is slow and does not go with the time and also with the times, Charles is the fashionista and japorms of the community. Looking back now at the way I hounded him in his first two years in college, it is with good reason that he seems stronger than the rest in keeping up, considering what he had to go through every year during evaluation – at least for the first two years. Well he made it and we are glad that he did so. Miracles do happen in life and for Charles it might not just be a once in a while occurrence but a series.
Today we are happy and glad and we thank them all for giving us, as the rector said, part of their spirit. The community is glad, the community is thankful.